Heart of Mine
by Kichigai Hi
Summary: A collection of poems and drabbles written at whim! General. Romance. Angst. Family... Ch.46 - Drive: If she were to be uncharacteristically honest, Azula had to admit her first time felt rather... lacking.
1. Tender Heart of Mine

I ship mostly Kataang but I don't mind writing for other ships as well. Poetry is my way of loosening up a bit.

Because poems songs and sketches are things I think up at a whim.

**Disclaimer: I'm borrowing your characters for a few minutes -- so sue me! (please don't) All I own is my writing style. (and why would you want that?)**

* * *

Once, I looked in your eyes

For love I feared would never shine

For I was yours, but were you mine?

Tender heart of mine

Then, did you feel this much

That time when our lips would touch

When I was lost within that rush

Did you feel that rush?

I prayed I'd still have a chance

For love and its eternal dance

But times have changed, I know I can't

Keep you, dear enchant

Now you look in my eyes

For love that can no longer shine

I fear I must bid you goodbye

Oh, for you my soul will cry

Tender heart of mine

* * *

Review? ;)


	2. Let You Go

I love her, I want her

I need her, I haunt her

I watch her, she's crying

"It's over," she's sighing

She holds me, protects me;

"I'm scared, please -- don't let me--"

Go.

I love him, I want him,

I need him, I'm haunted

I watch him, he's dying

"I'm okay." He's lying.

It's no use, death is true

I'm screaming -- "I'll never let you--"

Go.


	3. Falling KxA

I did it. Finally.

I've let you go now, can't you see?

I know you'd have such pride in me

'Cause I'm standing tall

Over all

So why do I feel like I'm on a fall?

I reach out but you're out of grasp

And all I did was release your hand

So I'm falling

Falling, falling

What happened? In the end?

Is it not enough to be just your friend?

If only you had felt the same

I might be inclined to hesitate

But duty called

I had to leave

A step outside and I could not see

The darkness blinding what I thought was bliss

Before I tumbled down from the precipice

Out of sight, out of mind

So why do you flash before my eyes?

For a reason I rack my mind

As I'm falling

I can't stop falling

These blackened depths have familiarity

Of a faraway time when they engulfed me

But you're no longer there

To break my descent

And I have no one else as of yet

I yearn for reassurance, tell me this is worth

All that I have done, the pain I put forth

Because I'm falling

I'm reaching out to your core

Yes, I'm falling

And I can't see you anymore


	4. A Journey KxA

First and foremost, there isn't enough thanks I can give to libowiekitty for all of her wonderful reviews! I highly recommend her "Positively Sure & other drabbles" for their depth and style that makes my writing seem like all roses and butterflies in comparison. Seriously. GO. And no, I was not payed to say that. ;) (although I could use the cash)

This poem is from Katara's point of view... I wrote it probably over half a year ago a several weeks after Crossroads of Destiny, so it takes place right at the end of it. I can't say I'm too fond of it because I wrote it so long ago, but I decided to post it anyway.

**EDIT: I made some changes because the rhythm was bothering me - but nothing too noticeable.**

R&R

* * *

Every day, I open my eyes

Embrace the sun

Look up into the skies

Then I met him

His eyes looked into mine

A journey begun

Every morning, bright rays hit my eyes

Cool dew wets my face

I look down from the skies

Then I see him

His eyes look into mine

I smile, he waits

Later does he show feelings, sweet or intense

Sorry or hurt or

Rage retained -- for the best

Always been there

And still must be, right?

Split apart with a kiss, sweet intent

For one long day, I'll open my eyes

Embrace this siege

No time to see the skies

Then I encounter another

Their eyes look into mine

But _he _comes back and I flee

For how many long nights will I open my eyes

No moon to give me strength

I can do but look through the skies

My eyes look at him

But he can't look into mine

I cry, he stays

Journey, please don't end


	5. Roll of Thunder

Gah! (Insert rant about massive hiatus here). School for me started the 20th of August (high school, w00t) and it's been killing me.

Me gots two updates for this fic today and maybe one tomorrow cause me also gots no school! Ah, well, this is somewhat old, I wanted to post it earlier but alas, it didn't happen. Not necessarily Avatar-related, but that's how it came out...

Enjoy!

* * *

Roll of Thunder

See your storms

Reflected in my eyes

Where once you were

A distant thought

In far-off Horizon's skies.

The setting sun

The beating drum

All hide your spirit's worst

Those that must feel

Your cunning wrath

Souls nothing less than cursed.

Yet all you see

As the wind blows by

Is a raindrop's streaking flight

Its silent fall

As a diamond jewel

In the daytime's waning light;

Akin to the teardrop

On my face

Mellowing skin with its warmth

Whose icy grip

Is upon my heart

It can't fool with the meekness put forth.

For like the rumbling,

Foreboding storm

Whose flood starts with one drop of rain

So will the anguish

Fill my soul

And won't spare me such pain.

So will the lightning

Strike my lone mind

As I sit through this torrent of rain.


	6. Something About You KxA

This was supposed to be humorous, but it somehow came out sappy. :p lol. I tend to do that every once in a while...

From Katara's point of view...

* * *

It's just that something about you 

When I look deeply into your eyes

And your face is framed by black velvet

That could have fallen from the night sky

The irrational urge to touch and feel

And experience for myself

The tender softness beneath my skin

Have my inner senses just melt

This sudden desire, so sharp, so strange

To satisfy this longing acute

To quell the chorus of my soul

For the sound of my voice is now moot

For what can replace this ecstasy

Oh, to wait I can no longer bear

There's just one something about you I need

It's your radiant -- beautiful --

Hair

* * *

And just because I have to get this off of my chest... 

I AM TOTALLY PSYCHED ABOUT SEASON 3. !!! I cannot believe it's been so long! Seriously, every time I see a commercial I go nuts. No, even better I go nuts _and _bananas... Come to think of it, a banana sounds quite good...

Is it obvious I'm a teeeny bit hyper? _Grins maniacally_


	7. All Falls Away TxS

What was gonna be surprise #1 was my amazing feat of updating within a week. And then right before I pressed "submit as chapter" (or w/e it happens to say) my dad called me down for a "talk". And then for 3 weeks I had no internet.

So, I'm so sorry, the update is short, 'cause I gotta go. Later, more will come, I promise.

Surprise #2: This, though romantic is **not **Kataang... just so ya know ;)

Surprise #3: It's not completely depressing! Enjoy it, folks, cause that doesn't happen very often.

Just in case anyone here is reading my chapter story, no, I haven't given up on it. It's just taking a verrry looong tiiiiiimmmme. But, in any case, here's the update!

* * *

They say the world all falls away

When lovers' eyes meet

When they share a glance, hearts in a dance

And it makes their souls complete

I stare at two others' enraptured gaze

And to my hope I try to hold fast

Even when apart, their love remains sharp

With a simple, passionate cast

For when I stare at my one, my beloved

I wonder, how shall we stay true?

When we are apart, will our devotion stay sharp?

Catching my eye means nothing to you

And though her smile so warms my core

I'm sure it's not something she'll miss

For they also say the world falls away

In a tender and passionate kiss

* * *

And why does "catching my eye mean nothing to you"? 'Cause it's Tokka. :) My very first... I hope I didn't just scar anyone if they don't like Tokka, I never wrote anything specifically for that ship before, it kinda wrote itself. But seriously, I still can't believe I wrote **Tokka.** Of all things...

On another note, I'm planning on (finally) introducing some of my drabbles/oneshots. I might post the non-romantic ones separately, though, not in here (as well as some non-romantic poems... I don't think an Azula poem would fit very well under "Heart of Mine" lol) but I don't know if I should make a separate collection or just post them alone... Or if I should rename this. I'm still figuring this out.


	8. The Awakening: I Wonder KxA

Finally, a drabble! This is my most recent creation... I think... well, my most recently finished anyway. I wrote it fairly quickly the day after seeing The Awakening and while rewatching it.

It starts off right before the beginning of that eppy, and the second part takes place right after it ends.

Off to the story! ;)

* * *

Sometimes, I wonder.

Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if I'd known that all these things would happen.

_That Zuko and Iroh were in the city._

_That Azula had sneaked in to capture it._

_That she would be the one to strike down the Avatar..._

_And that he wouldn't wake up._

I sit here staring at the unmoving face of a boy that I hadn't even known a year, but that I had grown to cherish as if he had been part of me my entire life. My heart's desire was to follow him, to catch the air currents that he swirled about as he excitedly flew along his journey, so that I could glide behind him as well. My duty was to protect him.

_What had I done wrong?_

There are times like these when there is nothing to do but sit, wait, and pray for an overdue miracle, and when all of those become tiring, one can only think... to think of the past and remember...

Remember the words he called to me as we ran from the crystal catacombs of Ba Sing Se... never knowing they'd be the last I heard him voice.

Recall the weeks without his beloved Appa... such pain and rage on his face that I'm afraid will soon reemerge once he awakens... if he ever does.

Reminiscing of the time I had foolishly screamed at him, I wondered; had I known what would happen now, what would I have done? What would I have done all those months as we traveled, ran from Azula, listened to him speak my name, kissed him on the cheek, passed through the Cave of Two Lovers... what would have changed within me as I let him go see the guru he needed, as I watched him rise into the pillar of light on that fateful night?

I remember the time when I had first held him in my arms, a young boy who had just committed the greatest mistake he would ever know... and I fear that this time, his disappointment in himself won't be so fleeting. Somehow, I am sure that had I known all these tragedies would take place, I would hug him, love him, and from that very moment that I caught him as he fell from that iceberg...

I would never let him go.

And so as I wait for the day that his eyes will flutter open, for life to retake its normal course, I make a solemn promise to myself. I've already let go of ones that I love, and it wasn't worth it. Next time will be different -- I will be there for him, be there to hold him up and defend him when the moment of truth arrives... because if I do nothing, history would be free to repeat itself yet again.

Yes, it already had, as another that I cared for went off on his own with only a distant goodbye... and as he had still come back safely, how could I have known that the next one I watched walk away would not?

A gentle hand on my shoulder causes me to look up into the masked face of a Fire Nation soldier.

"He'll be fine," Sokka reassures me. I nod and arise, walking out the door with a melancholy glance over my shoulder.

-----

But he wouldn't.

As I watch him back away from us to reach a high mound of hardened lava, I lose myself in thoughts of regret. Long ago, I had been the one to wake him from his century's sleep. I had been the first to catch his eye as his spirit returned and when he revived as we fled from Ba Sing Se. Back then, he would know that everything would be okay... but this time, I wasn't there to be the face that reassured him as he awakened from a dark abyss. Once, he had felt love and security even when the world around him was falling apart. This time, all he had felt was _fear _and that was what he acted on. For the first time, I realized how much losing him actually meant to me.

And for the first time, he was too worried to care.

The boy I had grown to love was still deeply sleeping inside of a confused, angry shell. As the magma's fire engulfed Aang's link to his past, I knew it had burned the free spirit that I had met all those months ago, leading it to fall into an unforeseen death.

I wonder if this time, he'll awaken. I wonder if my simple desires when I started along this road warrant all the pain and hurt along the way... I wonder what would happen if I ever could go back.

But even as I watch the forlorn expression of my friend's lost soul, I know that simply being here with him is worth every single tear I cried, every sting of pain endured. Because even if I did know what I was in for, I would go through this all over again. All I ask would be to know all these things that would happen -- not to prevent them, and not even to have an advantage over others. I think of the happy airbender that the world lost a few weeks ago and wouldn't hesitate to go back...

...just so I could embrace that sweet, lovely boy I miss one last time.


	9. Sixteen :: Flower KxA

Ah, well I finally got internet back (again) so here's an update. This popped up back in May, really randomly... and I finally typed it up!

Sixteen:

* * *

Sixteen days.

The sixteenth day of the sixteenth month that she was here alone.

Without him.

A day that should have been shared with him - with everyone - but life refused to accept any terms of normality for them. Not then, not now, not ever. The only thing she could rely on was the steady flow of days that went by since he had been away: attending to duties, as expected; living up to his title, as required. It was only supposed to be for a few days... those days, however, melded into the weeks that ensued and soon, everyone had all but forgotten that he was supposed to return... but she hadn't. And she prayed to God that he hadn't either.

All she had left was a single flower. Placed atop her small table, it was her first and last sight of each passing day. It was her memory. Her hope.

...

Sixteen. Sixteen days.

The sixteenth day of the sixteenth month that he was here alone.

And ironically, it was exactly the day of his sixteenth year of being alive, miraculously.

A day that would have been important - remembered by everyone except for these strange faces that glanced at him daily. Forgotten by all except for those he had left behind. He had been taken; forced to live up to his duty just as he had been so many years before. This time, he went along with it though, not wanting to risk another overreaction that would cause him to leave behind a part of his life as he already had. And although he knew he shouldn't, he didn't want to risk losing _her._ He missed her, so much more than she could possibly imagine. He'd had been away for so long, he begged whoever was out there that she would never forget him, no matter what would come his way and that she would be there when he could finally see her shining eyes again. It had been so long; the hopes were foolish... but that flower... its image was frozen in his mind as if it had never left his sight. It had probably long-since died but it was his tender memory. At least, it was the one thing that could give him hope...

...

It was still there.

Over one year and four months later, a patient and gentle reminder of the one who had gone. A year was not too long, better than forever, yet each passing minute without his touch felt like an eternity and without his heart it was unbearable. She'd had a chance to confess to him those undying sentiments the night he left, before doubting herself. Ever since he had begun to carry the load of all of those unavoidable burdens, no trace of love could be found in his eyes. His troubles already weighed down so much on his shoulders, how could she stress him with something like _love_? She couldn't say a word if just to save their friendship and their dignity. Now, after all of this time, she began to wonder if he had forgotten of her or worse... had been taken from this world without her by his side. She hadn't even told him how she felt... he would never know...

The white pearl of the petals replayed that night in her head relentlessly. The fragrant memory should have brightened her mood, as they were the most treasured gift in her possession, but they scorned her for her lack of audacity and therefore never being able to have his love.

Never having _him_.

Her glossed-over eyes never wavered from that flower...

...

If only he had told her...

If only he knew that she would keep that flower - that last wisp of _him -_ alive at all costs, then he might have gone back in a heartbeat. His life had only begun to wind down from those harrowing days when seven and a half months into his fourteenth year, he had been whisked away into this world of sorrow and deceit. He would have told her, would have poured out his feelings for her, but he had chosen a simple flower instead. She had gasped and pulled him into a tight embrace; her tears, due to the knowledge of his departure, restrained. Now, he finally understood the hidden meanings of her reaction, but at the time, he had hesitated. She had run off embarrassed before a single word could be uttered. She had seemed so unsure and distraught that he'd refrained from speaking his heart.

He feared that she would leave him before his return - he was afraid that she would capture the heart of another and leave him alone, but now he knew that she had only hidden her feelings because she never knew how _he _felt. Oh, how he'd had to bid his feelings into repression for he wasn't supposed to feel those wild emotions... had to conceal them from even her. Of course she had been unaware that his passion had never faltered; but now he was sure that hers was strong as well. Thoughts of her forgetting him still flashed through his head occasionally, but then he would suddenly remember that flower.

Her reaction.

And his mind could be put at ease.

...

That flower.

Her memory. Her loss.

...

That flower.

His memory. His comfort.

...

A tear slid from her eye.

She couldn't possibly imagine the depth of how he felt for her now. All her hope had to latch onto was that night...

...

_A thud in the stillness resounded across the house, causing her eyes to burst open. Tensed in the moonlight that bathed the room stood a slim figure entering; the girl whipped her head around, body defensive, until she recognized the sheepish face and kind eyes that stared back at her._

_He offered up a small smile. She grinned._

_She rose and strode over to him, loose hair trailing down her thin gown. He watched her gait, unable to fathom how radiant she looked as the darkened midnight glow played off of her skin. Her smile, he contentedly thought, was solely for him… for the time being. She watched his own lips slowly flicker and turn down from his smile and she, in turn, frowned._

Those two words.

_"I'm leaving."_

_Her face, oddly devoid of expression, broke him; he couldn't bear seeing her so struck and sad. She looked to the floor for a moment, but soon returned to meet his gaze, composure intact. She was much too aware that this would have to be done._

_"When?"_

_"Tomorrow."_

_She allowed her mind to grasp the information as her eyes drifted shut. Why now? she sighed. She reopened her eyes, hoping for her face to epitomize at least some form of sincere encouragement. She didn't think she was succeeding._

_"You'll be fine, I'm sure," she whispered._

_He smiled at her, becoming distinctly conscious of his arm, still dangling behind his back; his hand's contents too precious to be ignored. Even in the shadows, she could see the slight reddening of his cheeks and he fidgeted nervously. His arm shot out from behind him ending up directly beneath her nose. The pungent scent from below sent her senses reeling in delight and a simple, graceful flower became focused in her view._

_She gasped in surprise. Timidly, her fingers reached out to grasp it... it was so beautiful..._

_A flutter of happiness coursed through him as she maneuvered the offered gift. The warmth in his cheeks significantly increased when she threw her arms around him and held him tightly. He, shocked, could only think of hugging her back with just as much force._

_He's leaving, she thought, pupils shining with the weight of unshed tears. The boy in front of her fought the urge to cry himself, and attempted to brighten the desolate mood._

"_So… do you like it?"_

_Her face lightened considerably, noting his effort and inputting her own sense of humor._

"_Yes. But I _love _you."_

_She froze. Had she just spoken that aloud? Silence ensued and she pulled away, uncertain. After staring into his surprised face for a few seconds she realized she had said that much more seriously than intended…_

… _and yet she meant every word._

_His very breathing had halted at her words, but he only seemed stunned as he looked into her eyes. Nothing less, and nothing more. She backed away nervously, feeling the ease between them drain and sense discomfort take its place. Her heart fell and crashed into pieces. She had ruined their goodbye, she thought. Never did she see the reciprocated feelings that were reflecting from within him, so she said her final few words._

"_Good… good luck Aang…"_

_And she ran. He tried desperately to call after her, wishing to take back his silence that had expressed the total opposite of what he truly felt… but she didn't stop._

_She had spoiled their final moments together… she couldn't bear to stay to hear his explanation of how he had stopped feeling that way for her long ago._

_But he had waited all of his life to hear those words._

Of course, now she knew that she should have stayed and should not have given in to the fear of rejection that had possessed her. It had only taken sixteen months and sixteen days to figure _that_ out.

She prayed he hadn't forgotten. He had to come back… come back for her…

But, for now, that wouldn't happen and she understood as much. All she had left was a sea of memories.

And a flower.

* * *

This whole thing came up when I was reading a fanfic of Aang giving Katara an arctic flower and her saying that she loved him. I wondered - hey, what if she hadn't meant to say that and it came across as dead serious instead of light-hearted like in the fic that I read? It's pretty much based on the fact that she still kept that flower alive, though. The scenario of Katara bending water through the plant to keep it from dying struck me as interesting... so here it is.


	10. Circles KxA

It's really funny; inspiration can come in the most random of places, no? I was sitting at my computer screen staring at a blank wordpad page and wondering: What in the world am I going to write?

So I stared... trying to draw an idea from that sadly white screen... when it hit me. :) Kind of a tribute to all those writers who sit and wait for hours on end (well, not necessarily hours but you get my gist) waiting for inspiration to hit. I guess you can think of this as a companion to the last one.

Who knew letter writing could be such a hassle?

Circles:

* * *

A blank page. 

It always starts with that.

I sit here, once again, plume in hand, ready to pour out every single pent up emotion onto one plain sheet of paper. And every single one refuses to come out.

_What am I even supposed to say? _I wonder. _He's been gone for so long... what if he's changed? _That mentality halts the ink-filled tip just before its contact with the beige surface. I begin to pull back from the table before memories invade my unprepared mind...

_His airy laughter which warms my heart._

_The large grin on his face as he leaps around like a child, even though everyone says he should have outgrown that youth so long ago._

I can never forget his tears though... the rivers that streamed from his eyes when he told me he had to leave... his heartbreak when I told him I can no longer follow. He tells me to never forget that he misses me. My mind eases for a moment as my hand begins to write... _I've missed you so..._

But the months of no communication halt me abruptly. If he had still felt that way, wouldn't he have written? It is difficult to not recall how detached he became during certain points in his life, times when even my slightest brush against his shoulder sent his muscles into a severe tense and he glanced at me warily in case I asked any prying questions. What pain I went through when I did try and get him to open up... and each and every word I spoke back lashed until I could no longer support my bleeding soul. _Do I really want to go through that again?_

So my plume remains poised, ready to pour out all of my emotions... and they still refuse to come out.

So yet again, I've come full circle.

It was nothing short of a marvel how this boy could confuse me and yet make everything in the world make sense, all at once. Long ago, I could never have imagined how a world in such utter despair could give birth to a mirthful spirit such as his, and yet his presence in my life is so needed -- so _natural_. He was just a guileless monk who had made an eternally complex impact on my life and on that of so many others. It felt soothing to watch him mount the spherical scooters which propelled him through the air, never being bound by anything. Still, though, the simplicity of his movements when he fought was a façade -- circling his attacker in minimal steps only to perplex him and knock him down unexpectedly. He tended to do that with my feelings too.

Everything always started out calmly and rationally; there was no fanfare announcing the sudden maelstrom of rampant emotions that would steal away my sanity, no there never was. Funny how even an approaching change of life as I knew it came about so softly and simply...

A blank slate.

Oh, it always starts with that.

It was just another plain day when I found this miracle of a boy at my very doorstep. The tundra was white with fresh snow as I watched my chance to freedom -- to _happiness _walk in and out of my life and into the unknown. But that time, there was no hesitation in my decision to follow because I knew where I belonged. The future was empty and clear, as I had yet to know what would possibly become of the story of my young life, but I didn't fear repercussions; my destiny was a straight path. I took the plunge.

And here I am today, with a bend in my road. A bend that involved the merest of swipes of the finger to express any sentiment imaginable, so how could I be so frozen on this one irrepressible feeling: confusion?

Does his mind analyze all of his feelings so deeply and critically? No. Of course not. So how could I even hope to have him understand my desperation and abstruse perspective when everything about him was just so _frank_?

I sit back for a moment as I sort through my muddled thoughts. And then it hits me.

Funny how when it comes to him, things come about so simply.

I dip my plume into a small tub of ink and set about my task with a new sense of determination, pen already flying across the page. I sigh as I finally confess my heart to him, starting with just a couple of easy words.

_A blank slate._

_Funny, isn't it Aang, how everything always starts with that?_


	11. The Puppetmaster: Nightmare

Wow. The Puppetmaster was just... wow... I absolutely loved that episode... and it inspired me to write this! I started it a couple days after it aired and I finished it before last night's NM&DD but the week was busy and I only had 30 minutes before the new eppy to fix it up and type it. So I didn't quite make it.

This one is set right after TP... kind of a link between episodes.

Enjoy.

**EDIT: Fixed some errors I came across when trying to figure out just exactly what this document was as I browsed my machine. Capitalization issues, grammar, and I used a word that doesn't even exist. -.- This is why you use spellcheck people! XD**

**EDIT 2: More grammar issues. I will never learn.**

* * *

A nightmare -- that's exactly what this was. It was a monster from whom she couldn't escape - _for how could she escape her own self_ - it was a dream from which she couldn't awaken.

As soon as dawn had broken, she hadn't hesitated in succumbing to the hands of sleep, but she had fallen into the arms of a haunted fear which had thrust her back out just as quickly. The image of her sleeping friends paired with a cold sweat had greeted her upon her emergence from slumber. Once, she'd treasured the luxury of being able to wake up from horrifying images knowing they could no longer harm her... but now, they followed and stalked her without rest.

She glanced at the people around her... people who could easily be moved and tossed around as if they were dolls, just as Hama had done... just as she'd had to do.

Katara hastily rose from the ground, unsettled and feeling the need to be alone. She soundlessly crept along the soft grass, plunging into the deciduous forest once reaching far enough away from the group.

She tore through the brush with her bare hands, attempting to steer clear of anything even remotely related to water. She didn't want to see it or touch it, much less bend it... and yet she couldn't help but feel attracted to the light, soothing sound of a flowing river...

A succession of heavy breaths broke the stony silence in the campsite. The boy struggled to calm down his frantic heartbeat as he sat up, eyes trying to adjust to the daylight. As the engulfing flames faded from his vision though, he noticed another item of worry.

"Where's Katara?"

With no response, he looked around to find both Sokka and Toph still obliviously sleeping -- and no Katara. He knew from their sober conversation earlier that morning that they were scared for the girl, but he didn't have the heart to wake their weary bodies. She was probably okay... but who knew what enemies lurked through the area? Frowning, he rose, finding a recently disturbed spot in the trees toward which he set off in search of his friend. The sweet scent of the woods and the sun-dappled flora failed to catch his attention; he only listened closely to and let himself by guided by the lulling sound of lively water...

A small figure sat at the bank of a stream, hair cascading over her slumped back. Aang cautiously approached her, surprised to not find the girl avidly bending the water and swimming inside the creek, just as she always did when issues troubled her mind. He lay his fingers on her shoulder but she didn't even flinch. As he lowered himself to the ground, he let his bare calves dangle inside the flowing water; her legs remained crossed stiffly beneath her. Aang cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Everyone's worried about you, Katara."

_So was she._

"What... what really happened?"

Katara's body rested stock-still as she stared at the scene before her. The rushing liquid before her enraptured her gaze, eyes drawn to it like a magnet... but she cursed this involuntary action.

She hated the water.

Its pure sheen and hue as the noon sunlight filtered through it was mocking and deceptive -- it couldn't possibly harness the sickening destructiveness her element harbored. It was too light, too thin to compare to the heavy thickness of _blood..._

Katara's eye twitched.

"She taught me how to get water from wherever I am," she responded mechanically. Absently, she lifted her arm to draw a trickle of water from the humid air. Aang watched silently as Katara then brought her shaking and to touch the grass beside her. She bended a stream from it, the vegetation turning brown and shriveled - dead - before the airbender's very eyes. He cringed inwardly at the blackened patch, his mind trying to comprehend how someone so healing and full of life could be capable of even this small act of death. Katara dropped the water abruptly.

"Water is healing," Katara almost chanted the mantra as if she were trying to convince herself of it. "Benders are supposed to guide their element... but... she _controlled _it. She... made it do whatever she wanted."

Aang shifted nervously, recalling the events of the night before.

_The confusion when he watched himself attack Katara... the glinting blade that would have impaled itself within his chest..._

"Yeah," he said. "I noticed."

"But she -- she--" When Katara's eyes turned suddenly to bore into Aang's, he started at the pure look of panic and anger that resonated within them. "To her, living beings were nothing more than _puppets _-- nothing more than skins containing liquid _I can bend_!" She burst up in fury, staring down the boy in front of her as she examined him, drinking in every detail of his appearance from his tousled hair to the sweat trailing down his thin abdomen, to the look of stupefaction in his tired eyes… because she was afraid that one day, she wouldn't be able to see him like this anymore. One day, she was afraid that all she'd be able to see as she looked at this living, breathing person was _water_.

"Katara," Aang stood up as well now, "you aren't her. You're kind, you care about people… just because you know this doesn't mean you'll become like her…"

"But what if I do? If I wanted to, I could bend this tree or take all of the water out of it."

_Where there is life… there is water._

_Water is life._

"I'd be killing it – I have the ability to take life away from anything… _anyone_." Her hands trembled. She couldn't get over that sickening feeling of power and control that had threatened to take over her senses… Pulling down the very blood in Hama's veins that night felt grating and unnatural and wrong… but the most paining part of it was…

She had never felt so dead.

Her skin had tingled with the horror of discovery. She despised herself and her element for such an action that was both empowering and terrifying – all too easy to repeat. She was afraid that one day, she would.

"I don't want that power, Aang," she continued. "To look at everything around me and realize… _I can kill it all_."

Aang froze at her admission. How often had he repeated those very words over and over again in his mind, cursing the power he was forced to use? _The power exists_… and you had no choice but to acknowledge that. Aang could easily imagine that being said by so many other benders as well – appalled by the sheer destructiveness of each and every element. He thought of Jeong Jeong and the danger he had attributed to fire…

"Katara, every element has its bad things. It's better that you know what they are and how they work so that you, of all people, know how not to use it." Even with that being said though, Aang was suddenly relieved beyond belief that it hadn't been the _waterbenders _who'd taken to starting the war.

"But I'll have to one day Aang… What if I have no choice…?"

"Then we'll deal with it when we get there." Aang set a reassuring hand on her arm and gazed earnestly into her eyes. She didn't miss the fact that he had said 'we'.

"I guess I just…" Katara sighed. "I never wanted it to come to this. I trusted her and it was a mistake. Again."

"It wasn't your fault." Aang looked down at the ground. "Sometimes other people make mistakes and we're the ones that have to pay for it."

Katara regarded him as he watched the calm stream in solemn contemplation. In an instant, she could see all the pain, hope, and fear he had ever felt in his life flash through those stormy eyes. In a single moment, she could find all of the apprehension and emotional scars he had hidden deep inside, all because he'd also had to do so many things against his logic and teachings.

_Lying. Hurting. Fighting._

She threw her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry, Aang," she confessed, tears beginning to prickle at her eyes.

Aang froze for a moment, stunned. "What – why? Um… weren't we just talking about you?" He blushed but relaxed in her hold.

"For the war, for what you've had to go through… for everything." She pulled back.

The scene around them seemed to pause for an instant as they searched each other's eyes. They recalled the days, not too long passed, when they had set out on this journey full of youthful enthusiasm. That spark had become duller, somehow, gradually replaced by the worldly air of the wise. He remembered how easy it had once been to bring out the glint of naïveté in her no matter how small it had been… but now, it had all but gone.

"I'm sorry too."

Katara's eyes saddened a bit, but she quickly brightened her face with a gentle smile. "You should probably go back. I have a feeling supervision might be needed with those two."

Aang nodded. "Alright."

"Thank you," Katara whispered. The Avatar just grinned.

He backed away slowly, leaving Katara to again sit quietly by the tiny creek. It seemed as if she were finally waking up from her life's nightmare…

Just as his was about to take its menacing hold.


	12. What It Comes Down To

AAAAHH!! DoBS is only 2 weeks away! Sorry... just had to get that out of my system.

No, there are no spoilers in this one. I'm waiting till it airs before watching that episode so people don't have to worry about spoilers and I'd appreciate it if people didn't talk to me about spoilers either. ;)

I actually finished this before the last one... but I didn't want to post it before it with the chronology and all. This one kinda flowed out of me, it took like 5 minutes. :p Not sure how much I like it... but there's another one coming that I think will come out better.

OT: And you have no idea how much I cracked up at Aang's: "Baby, you're my forever girl!" Oh my gosh...

Anyway. Here we go.

* * *

The laughs of old 

And legends told

To soothe our minds with bliss

When the bitter pain

Pours out in rain

And it all comes down to this

Our first embrace

Our journey's haste

In soul, treasured so true

But the war horns blow

Off to destiny I go

My heart shall be left with you

How it wasn't so long

Since life began its song

Oh, my past I have no time to miss

Who knew bitter pain

And cruel Fate's slain

Could have finally come down to this?

With our swords of silver

And our hearts of gold

So shall we become such a legend told

So I take a breath

Depart with a kiss

And it all comes down to nothing but this

* * *

Let the invasion... BEGIN! 


	13. Battle Scars

Hmmm... well, I tried uploading this in story format so that the individual haikus are easy to point out... but that didn't quite work out. 6 haikus: 1, 3, and 6 I wrote in July, the others are from this past week and today. LOTS of schoolwork to finish, oh gosh... but I managed to finish the poem I promised last time so I might post it later today. Pretty much DoBS inspired... I'm afraid you'll see quite a bit of that coming from me... I'm so spazzed. ;)

Hats off to my lovely reviewers! Honestly, reviews are my lifeblood (I think that's a pretty redundant word, but that's besides the point -- it makes it all the more important).

**EDIT: Now that I've _finally _found the "Shift Enter" command... ;)**

* * *

Children of the sun  
Soldiers of battered nations  
Let the seige begin

Heat of summer's end  
Stifling prayers that we send  
To those out of sight

Tainted battle scars  
Cast me behind iron bars  
Fight till bitter end

Premonition: run  
As the moon outruns the sun  
Brightness shines upon

Voices whisper: hide  
Victory flees out of sight  
Screams in dead of day

Gazing at that light  
Shades of golden, blue, and green  
Kiss his still-closed eyes


	14. Destiny

W00T!! 20 minutes till DoBS!! What can I say? I'm spazzed. This can be seen as just DoBS or basically the entire series up till then.

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY REVIEWERS! Wishing Only Wounds the Heart and libowiekitty: I so appreciate your many many reviews! Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you guys. ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Fortune reigns with not a doubt;

Immerse in destiny

We fight, we win

Our eyes alight with the fire within;

That hope that burns as the tide has turned

For us in this darkest of nights.

We smile, embrace

A while, victory on our face;

The pride that glows as we elude our foes

Who, us, they shall not rile.

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Time stakes its claim with not a sound;

I drown in destiny

We fight, we fail

A plight to our dreams all set sail;

That fatal shove to the times we loved

Murdered in the glaring light.

Breathe out

Breathe in.

Our eyes so leaden with the torture within;

Raise our cries to destiny.

* * *

Happy DoBS. ;D


	15. Still

Sort of a belated special occasion poem... I wrote this back on my birthday but FF . net chose that day to refuse to let me log in. It was apparently having issues. And then I was too busy. And then I got sick. And so now it's over a week later right when I'm dead tired from a chorus performance and I decide to post it. Oh well.

Actually, I might end up adding more to this one. It really wrote itself -- and fast too, even for its short length. Well, I really appreciate all the reviews I have, I can't say enough to thank you guys. ;) Happy reading!

**EDIT: Well, here's the update, I added two "stanzas" (you can't really tell in this format) but, in any case, it's now twice as long. ;) I hope it's okay.**

* * *

I want to fall

Because I failed

I want to cease

This endless tale

I risked it all

Because I loved

I wagered peace

And now it wails

As it descends

The black abyss

With hearts to mend

Burnt lips to kiss

I lost it all

Because I loved

I cry my soul

But still I love

A star shines bright

As silence rings

Whispers of night

Nightmares to bring

I left it all

For just one chance

With fate I dance

Destiny sings

Pray I won't fall

I shall not fail

Our hearts beat still

Our hope births frail

I risked it all

And still I love

For I'll fight on till

I cease to love

* * *

These next oneshots should be kind of dark. One I never typed it up though I wrote it during summer vacation, and another is a dream that I had a while back. Expect tragedy and (in the dream case) expect Azula. I'm not sure if I should post that dream here or just on its own because it's gonna be so different from any of my other drabbles. Probably on its own.

Oh man, I need sleep. So long! God bless.

-kichigai


	16. Drabbles Set 1

Some of these are from forever ago -- little scraps that I never could fit into fics or had the time to -- and others are excerpts from fics I have written or am writing. The first one is a random scenario, the second as well (but the last line is a premise for my chapter fic), the third I am writing a oneshot about, the fourth I wrote but never posted a oneshot about, the fifth will soon become an excerpt from said chapter fic, and all of that was probably useless information to all of you but I felt like informing everyone anyway. These are so random I almost feel bad posting pointless stuff like this, but I kinda like 'em anyway. Maybe at least someone else will too.

I hope everyone had a very nice Christmas, and are enjoying vacation (if you have any -- I hope you did/do).

Thanks for reading...

* * *

**Reality**

_Because in truth, relationships are not a matter of perspective, but a matter of fact. _

"We're just friends," she said, hopefully offering up a small smile. He sadly shook his head and backed away, making the few steps that would take him from her life forever.

"No. We're not." _And we were never meant to be._

He just happened to be the one to admit it.

--

**The Ties That Bind**

She placed her head in the nook of his neck as he shivered and lightly stroked her cascading hair. Her eyes were closed.

_Pure contentment. Unexpected joy._

"I still can't believe I'm about to marry the Avatar."

He pulled her away and looked at her seriously. "You're not." But soon he grinned. "You're marrying Aang -- I hope."

She chuckled softly and returned her arms around his shoulders and pressed against his chest. Those simple moments when he could always make her feel better... "Of course I am." She could almost feel his smile as they held each other close, listening to the heartbeats that sung loving lullabies to them through their bosoms.

No, she might not have been marrying the Avatar itself, but some things come together, and no matter how hard you try, there comes a time when you can no longer tell them apart.

--

**Chilled December**

It had been a gorgeous winter day when a young girl laughingly followed her mother through the drifts of snow.

_"Go get dinner ready, Katara. I need to go to the market -- I'll meet you at home, all right, honey?"_

It had been a gorgeous winter day when her mother never came back.

--

**Reaction**

He had seen their intentions… and he silently watched their lives fall apart. Everyone knows that when water and fire come together, they both disappear.

All that remains is _air_.

--

**Promise**

_Funny how some things just never change... except to just get worse._

I couldn't protect him when we had our first major battle in the North Pole. I never forgave myself for losing him. He had been kidnapped, by _Zuko, _of all the worst people to get his hands on him. He could have been tortured, or worse yet, killed if they had gotten to the Fire Nation... if they had even gotten out of that blizzard alive. How could I, Katara, who had made a solemn oath to protect this powerful hero - my _friend -_ let him get into so much danger? As the only person left to protect the Avatar, I would have let the whole world down. I'd have let Aang down.

And so I swore to myself that it would never happen again.

* * *

Well, with the new year right around the corner, I'd hoped to have a seasonal poem up around then, but this piece is really taking its time -- and I'm letting it because I love it just that much. Instead, I'm afraid some not-so-feel-good stuff is next because there's too much not-so-feel-good feelings in me right now. Such eloquence, I'm telling ya.

Happy New Year, everyone! 明けましておめでとうございます｡


	17. Storms of the Night AxA

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! XDD

I hope everyone had (or is still having, ya never know) a great New Year's celebration! I wish I could say this was a happy oneshot, but I can't. It took forever though.

I find this one to be very dark so feel free to skip it. But if you don't, please keep an open mind (I'm begging you)... this is a future fic and it's not pretty. Why? Because unfortunately, some don't have the luxury of living a fairytale without it turning tragic.

Warning 1: The following contains possible Azulaang (insert horrified gasp here) and is quite dark. But, there is KATAANG. coughazulaangismycrackshipandihavenoideawhycough

Warning 2: There's one obscure reference to...er... rape I'm sorry to say, and the story is kinda sad. Okay, it's depressing.

Warning 3: I jump around from present time to _flashbacks (in italics)_ a lot and I range from very detailed to very subtle in my writing. It's undergone revision because I don't want to confuse anyone or anything, but I don't know if I've done enough :(.

I had a dream of this a while back and told myself I'd make a fic out of it... well a part was actually supposed to be Taang-ish because random people pop up out of nowhere in my dreams and I don't know why... but I didn't want the oneshot to be as crazy as my mind. Readers don't deserve that... then again I don't expect many to like this one anyway. /rant

R&R!

* * *

An unmerciful wind pounded on the house's exterior walls. The black sky above let loose all of its fury in the stinging drops of heavy rain, howling and streaking by the flailing trees. Faint forebodings of thunder vibrated through the air and were subsequently followed by faraway flashes of light. Trembling panes formed a window on the wall, sole observer to a pale face resting beneath it, barely illuminated by the grey clouds' eerie glow as they obliterated any trace of the hidden moon.

The small home was shrouded in darkness, only dull sounds of the outside chaos echoing through its halls. A lone figure lay on a room's single bed, eyes drifting up to watch limbs fly by in the violent torrents... and yet those were not the images flashing through his mind.

_A young woman stared deeply into his eyes, pupils a bright sapphire and dark hair dissolving into the black that was the night. She gently smiled, arms snaking around his torso to pull him into an embrace. He felt a grin embellish his lips._

_"I'm so glad I said yes," she murmured into his chest, sensing the merely week-old silk ribbon around her neck. Aang's smile grew._

_"Me too," he whispered._

A roll of thunder broke the train of memory, lightning as electrifying as the sudden touch of another's skin against his, both instantaneously chilling him to the bone.

"What do you want?" His voice was barely audible to even his own ears. He didn't bother to turn to the face he knew was already there.

"You need to get over it."

_He marveled over her airy laugh..._ Its brightness pierced through him.

"Get over what?" Both of them knew he was playing the part of the fool... but he refused to care.

He felt a body's warmth shift closer to him, cold fingers on his bare shoulder forcing his gaze into her amber eyes. The cruelty within them had died down a slight bit; not into a bitterness, but more into a curious severity as she contemplated her once-enemy. Her hair was messy and loose around her head, her figure clothed in the poorest tattered rags.

How low the princess had fallen.

_He'd been running to aid those in the frightful deck above. He hadn't believed it when his eyes had fallen upon the face that had long ago sparked fear within his veins. The two visages on either side of her met his eyes to force him to relive the sense of danger that had been his destiny at one point in time. They pondered in wondering at his silence; they stared in realization at the lithe figure by his side. For then, they had laid their eyes upon his very _life.

"You would never understand." He recalled his adversary's piercing words and movements that dripped with malice... seemingly benign fingertips spewing forth her love of power and death. Her nature was to take away life -- how could she know it?

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "We're not as different as you think, you know." Oh, how her words had transformed from their honey-coated deadliness to a sticky, visibly acrid sap. He was of the few that would catch that subtle change. Her dreams had been that of prowess, of a ruler claiming his rightful place on a throne of the finest gold. She was born with the scent of victory in her nose, raised with the threads of righteousness woven in her mind.

But his had been woven in his heart.

No. She didn't know what he had been through. Never could possibly comprehend this tragic loss…

_A lingering kiss had been their parting goodbye, unbeknownst to them. It had been their broken promise of a future where they would never be apart._

"That storm took away my life." The statement was spat out between gritted teeth, the tears of agony threatened to unleash their own rampage behind his pained eyes. He quickly shut them, frowning when he felt warm breaths tickle his ear as it received their sickeningly soft words. His breath hitched as she voiced the very statement that only ever echoed within the secluded depths of his subconscious… one that reminded him that he was never so close to death as when he was with her.

"You took away _mine_."

_She had been hiding; stealing away into the shadows of the world if just to preserve what was left of herself. All she had ever wanted was her rightful place at her nation's head... all she would ever dream of was the drugging relish of power... but all she had were the two companions who had stayed their place by her side. No, she could never quite lose herself even amidst shortcomings and failures. Instead, she had finally found two friends... after years of being together._

_If only for the while._

"I saw everything..." she crooned dangerously, lips sensing the faint prickle of his hairs standing on end as they mouthed syllables at the nape of his neck. She effortlessly transitioned from her former topic.

_A black head could barely be discerned as it bobbed up and down on the rogue planks of driftwood sailing through the waters. Eyes half-closed and mind nearly unconscious, she could only watch at a helpless distance as her friend washed up on an island's shore._

She retreated from the boy to lean her back against the wall at the head of the bed. She directed her sight to the outdoors scene and frowned. "Only Mai was alive when some filthy crewman dragged her up onto the beach."

_The man looked down intently at the now barely-clothed figure, the currents having done the job of tearing off the majority of her garments._

"Unfortunately..." Aang subconsciously looked behind him, the woman's voice magnetizing and foreshadowing a glimpse of horror. He surprisedly watched her eyes shift to an appalled regard.

_He took the liberty of finishing the ocean's task._

"So was he," she whispered. Aang's stomach churned.

_The groan of splintering wood awoke him with a start. The ocean's brine had already seeped into lower levels, turning the long corridors into a network of canals. He rushed up in search of the plaguing issue, only to find rampant disorder on the deck and within the ruthless sea. He had caught her eye as she balanced on the roof of the ship's highest enclosement, hands gliding in soothing patterns to calm the element she called her own. How her glance had reassured him, even as her arms reached up, stretching their silent pleas to the obscured moon..._

_When the lightning had claimed those graceful fingers as its own._

_And she had fallen... the icy depths that had birthed her hungrily swallowed her into its grave. The ocean would do the same to him not long after._

He hastily shut his eyes, bidding the nightmare of a memory to flee from his mind. _He couldn't save her -- save anyone... he'd failed._ The flashing of light outside accentuated his tortured face and a violent crack of thunder caused him to jump involuntarily.

"There's no use avoiding it. You're going to have to face it eventually." Azula's low voice grated into his ears, factual and blunt, even in the midst of tragedy. Aang returned to his previous gaze through the window. "_I _got over it didn't I?"

In the instant that he glanced at her face, he knew, again, she wasn't talking about the loss of her friends anymore. That cold, familiar glimmer of hatred sparked through her pupil and reminded him that he was the reason for her pathetic situation now. It terrified him to no end to know he possessed the ire of a deadly foe, but he pressed on regardless. "Did you?" he questioned tentatively.

"I haven't killed you for good yet have I?"

Aang's eyes darkened for a moment in reminiscence before he reverted back to the present. What did it matter anymore? _She _wasn't here...

Azula reapproached him, his gaze following her the entire way. "That was supposed to be a good thing," she informed him. Aang frowned warily at the pure soberness in her tone. She didn't show even a hint of sardonic humor as she searched his own eyes, finding the sparks of love and confidence all but gone and a sea of uncertainty in their place. As much as he tried to hide it underneath the black shadows of the stormy night, she could see the repressed longing within him... a longing to be found... because it was all too apparent that he was lost. Hopelessly, utterly lost. And in a sense, so was she. He looked away.

After a lifetime of independence, she had learned to rely on people she trusted -- for support, if nothing else. They stood by her no matter what, and she'd begun to wonder why... why they stayed loyal even after she could no longer have done anything to threaten them... why they cared. She'd begun to question it, want it, _need _it... but now they were gone. She'd come to gain too much reliance on something that could never possibly last, after years of no dependance at all... and now that need flared stronger than ever.

She had never been one known to deny herself anything. Some things never changed.

She unconsciously pulled his body to face hers, giving in to a feeling she couldn't describe much less know how to handle. She let herself lean in closer, for once unsure of even her own actions. Her piercing eyes never left his as she stopped, hovering just over his reddened face. She could feel his irregular breath blow against her lips... his heartbeat thumping erratically against her fingers.

"What are you doing?" he breathed... and yet he couldn't bring himself to pull away from the lure of another's proximity. He could taste her exhale on his tongue, their flesh not a hair apart... but all he could see were blue eyes shining into his... the lips of a long-gone lover seeking his... A silent tear slid down his pale skin and he slowly shook his head. "Just leave," he uttered brokenly. The salty drops of liquid came in renewed force now, glossy eyes emanating pain and pleading. "Please... just leave..." Aang turned away, confusion running rampant through his mind. What was he supposed to do? How was he expected to deal with the brightest memory in his mind... of death... of loss...? He knew he was desperate for an answer. So was she. But no matter how needful he was of a solution... surely it wasn't this. He sighed raggedly.

A weak flash of light shone into the room, it's coming as subtle as her unnoticed exit. The accompanying tremble sounded like an aftershock of chaos and destruction: ambiguous with the closing door. He suddenly became aware of a white ray falling into his eyes, alerting him of the dark gray clouds' disappearance from the starry sky; the waning crescent moon sat like an arc hanging above the black velvet of the dark world. An occasional gust disturbed whatever was left of the vegetation and rogue bits of cracked wood yet other than that, only silence reigned around him.

But it was only the calm before another storm.

It came gently, slowly at first... drops of liquid deliberately making their way toward the distant ground yet again, from darkened gray. The air thickened and swirled, increasingly so, as it's sounds once again disrupted the quiet.

This time though, the wind and thunder were the racking sobs of pain as a desolate soul harshly breathed his element. Gray pools were shielded by tightly shut eyes that still released their sorrow. The more restraint he tried to place on the stinging rivers of emotion, the more they seemed to tear at his soul yearning for escape... maybe all one could do was wait out its fury.

The panes of the window remained still now to watch shivering limbs form a crying body shaking beneath it.

Sole observer to both storms.


	18. Power

I started this forever ago and forgot about it until today which is when I finished it. It was basically born from the idea that Aang and Azula (oh dear, not _those _two again!) are polar opposites but still have one thing in common: power. The first three stanzas reference Aang and the last three Azula. It is set to Crossroads of Destiny -- there will _never _be enough fanfic for that episode.

I promise: Next up, Kataang!

* * *

Joy.

A single smile, a single laugh

One grin alone

To lift up spirits amidst the wrath

Of a mortal foe

Soon drowned out by the cries of death

Beckoning from below

Fear.

A bead of sweat rolls down a face

Twisted in rage

Cracked lips to catch a bitter taste

If just to gauge

Spring's tale's end, a grueling race

In its final page

Power.

A tingling shiver, a surge of pain

Following the signs

Of true prowess: control within his veins

Capturing his mind

Of silent screams, doubtedly insane

Crying out inside

Perfection.

A single aim, a single shot

One shot alone

Victory claimed and losses not

So far from home

Others disdained, their hope is lost

Where would they go?

Unimportance.

A fleeting thought of hopeless souls

Now put to shame

A madness they brought on themselves alone

Only they're to blame

How hard they fought, how low to go

Cause they've lost this game

Power.

A tingling shiver, a surge of gain

Races up her spine

The drug of control coursing through her veins

Enveloping her mind

Of witnessed screams; questionably sane

Forever echoing inside


	19. Make It KxA

Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with me. When was the last time I wrote something actually _happy_? All the ideas I have purposefully start out light and end up sad. :( Unfortunately, this is no exception. Sorry.

Kataang, as promised... but a bit different. A lot of these poems are really songs as is this one -- but with two voices. Yeah, I know, cheesy, but it popped up in my head while in the shower XD and I'm fairly content with it. Basically one voice is in _italics _and the other in regular font; (parentheses) are kind of like an echo... sorta. I might eventually put up the melody to it somewhere too. I'll let you figure out which character is which ;).

(crosses fingers) I hope it's bearable. xp ... Review please!

_

* * *

_

_Lay my head softly  
__Into the warmth of your arms  
__Shining eyes lovely  
__Hands to protect me from harm_

_Don't worry, we can make it  
__Give me your hand, I'll take it  
__It'll be all right_

Gaze at me fondly  
Whispering notions of love  
Know you are hardly  
Less than a gift from above

Don't worry, we'll get through this  
Look around you; it's true bliss  
It'll be all fine

_We soar and laugh above the clouds  
_Hope our dreams will never touch the ground  
Yet we flail in flight

_We fought and fell as death implores  
_"Fly to me and sleep forevermore  
It'll be all right"

Speak to me calmly  
Pale skin stained in a tear  
Smile watched blindly  
All I can do now is hear...

_Don't stop me, I can take it  
__Give me your heart, I'll claim it  
__And say goodbye_

_Don't worry _(My sweet)  
_You can make it _(Your laugh)  
_You're a fighter on your own _(Run right before my eyes)  
_Don't worry _(Take me)  
_Yes, I'll make it _(No chance)  
_I am better off alone _(Without me in this strife)

_You said so, we'd get through this  
_But without you all my true bliss  
Is lost in time

Lay your head softly  
Still and cold gift from above  
Soft wind breathes warmly  
_"You'll make it without me, my love"_

_

* * *

_

lol, Took me long enough to find the "Shift Enter" command... where's it been all this time?


	20. Memory

I wrote this... forever ago... back on Independence day... DX It's basically me being my usual abstract, overanalytical self and using elements and the like instead of names. Somehow, I get Kataang (yay, Kataang again!) and Tokka out of it... Well, if I've confused anyone (which I tend to do quite often and quite thoroughly) let me know. ;) Oh yeah, and I edited "Nightmare". Nothing much, just grammatical issues... I really need to learn to use spellcheck. lol

You guys have no idea how much I appreciate reviews. Much much thanks to all of those who already have. ;D

Here ya go!

* * *

The wind that rushes by

So much duty to possess

The wave that licks the shore

The far off ocean who is left

Alone as it will wait

_For the soul that had to flee_

And is gazed at by a long lost friend

_Nothing more than a memory_

She stares at the point

Over rolling waves' peaks

Where two elements meet

The sun forces inbetween

But the sun will come

And the sun will go

The air will follow

And the water stays home

It rests on the horizon

And will always feel

Breath of air in the sea

No matter where it may lead

For the earth will watch

_With water at her heels_

At the distant tide

_Who knows exactly how she feels_

For as the breeze

Will pass right though

The daughter of sea and moon

Will think of you

Who comes and who goes

_The promise of that dream_

Of long lost adventure

_Nothing more than a memory_


	21. Time

:D Well I'm ridiculously happy that I've finally finished two poems that have been on my mind for forever -- this being one of them. The next is a different ship -- which Wishing Only Wounds The Heart already knows I've been attempting to attempt ;).

But I put this one first 'cause I started it in November... X( and even though it looks like a long time, for me as a writer, those months definitely were short short short. FYI: it's a song so the pattern isn't regular all throughout.;)

* * *

Just breathe  
Just one glimpse of this memory  
Mind lost and caught up in a reverie  
One blush  
A tentative touch  
Easy to see

Warm my heart and soul, not a sound  
We soar, explore, with our heads in the clouds  
Slow down  
No need to rush now  
Fall into dreams

Oh, give me some time  
To close my eyes  
Revel in the feel of your arms

Oh, your hand in mine  
Give me some time  
To fall in love with you

One smile  
Just the laughter upon your face  
One thought of awe in this amazing place  
Life's bliss  
An innocent kiss  
Whisper your name

Raise my spirits up when they fall  
My heart, my life, my hope, you've saved it all  
In flight  
So stunned by your light  
I can but say

Oh, give me some time  
To reminisce  
Let go of the mem'ries that I miss

Oh, your heart with mine  
Give me some time  
To fall in love with you

One song  
Just a moment, a word to say  
You've stayed so far away  
Too long  
And I need you right by my side  
Oh, please, open your eyes  
Embers  
Fading life, bleak tomorrows  
To chase the sorrows  
I remember

Your smile  
And the laughter upon your face  
Such sighs of awe in this amazing place  
My bliss:  
Your innocent kiss  
All I can say

Time, blessing of love  
Sent from above  
A gift I do know will stay so true

Oh, give me some time  
To fall in love  
To fall in love with you


	22. Try MxZ

Finally... dundundun! the Maiko poem is here -- dedicated to Wishing Only WoundsThe Heart, my Maikoan reviewer! lol Well, technically it's a song, again, so more irregularity. Eh, it -only- took me about a month to do (rolls eyes)... my mind was so fogged with Kataang... I had to clear the mist to be able to see the fire XD.

Well, first attempt at Maiko, so I'm sure it's OOC. But I had fun with it... so I hope that it turned out satisfactory. (nervously anticipates reviews)...

* * *

Trampled roses  
Souls of a place I call my home  
Halls I roam, yes,  
Only to find myself alone

Faces bear emotion, save for mine;  
Not a single notion on a mask frozen in time

Steal away  
To arms of reminiscence  
I hear you say  
"I'll love you" with a tender kiss

Sands of time  
A storm of bleak destiny  
I plead you; try  
Return to shelter me

Tender touches  
Shards of a shattered memory  
Children's blushes  
Marred by the darkness before me

Silver glints, amidst I find your hand  
Bid farewell to wretched life, this time I'll take a stand

Daggers' call  
A solace to my lost heart  
For after all  
You said we'd never be apart

Left to die  
A hope I'd once held in you  
But still I'll try  
To wake my hope anew

Memoirs once ours haunt me: old flames blown  
Pondering my place here, wondering if you'll come home

Tainted dreaming  
Lovers in harsh reality  
Calmness seeming  
Knowing you must leave without me

Glimmers dim from sight, though yes, it's right  
Mask descending, torn heart mending; return - I'm pleading - try


	23. Time Bomb

Well, since I refused to post anything until I'd finished the last poem, I've got some stuff ready to go.

A while back I was bored and looked through episode summaries etc. and I found an interesting quote by the Guru that just screamed at me to write about it. Now, I can't say how canon what's on Nick's site is (the quote was unaired) but I couldn't resist. I have some inexplicable attraction to dark!fics particularly dealing with Aang's Avatar State. :D It basically deals with "The Guru" though it actually takes place sometime in the future (cough)inmychapterfic(cough).

Much love to my readers and reviewers! Whichever you may be.

* * *

_It was strange, _he pondered. _How in these most silent of moments... he could hear this imperceptible ticking..._

_Tick, tock, tick, tock._

_"You are an emotional time bomb," _he heard his mind reiterating over and over; an crescendoing reminder as he struggled to clear his thoughts. Yet, he refused to listen... it wasn't like it mattered anymore anyway.

_Tick, tock, tick, tock._

His memory could barely recall the images of what felt like so long ago... his resignment to do the duty he'd forced himself to fulfill, if just to avoid the pain his century's slumber had wrought. But he had rejected destiny once again. The previous consequence should have been ample warning to him as it had been when things were right... but he turned a blind eye in favor of what he had been about to do. _It's worth it... she's worth it... _And so all he'd given up... his fear, his shame, his guilt of all he'd done wrong, his grief, his disappointment and lies... were slowly slithering around the edges of his existence, waiting for the proper opportunity to strike. Waiting for the right time to pull the pin from a grenade planted deep inside his heart... that patiently waited to burst. Who was to say they hadn't already done so?

_Tick, tock, tick, tock._

Oh, that incessant ticking... so often, if he listened closely to it's loudening sound in the direst of moments, he could hear it quicken -- a desperate clicking of nerves and dark passion with a dangerous itch to be released. It was there when he'd lost Appa... when his eyes drank in the bitter image of his guardian, tattered amidst his once-home's ruins... even when the barest of her kisses had left his lips on fire and a delicious tingle raced up and down his spine. Otherwise, it just remained at a constant, steady pace, creeping unnoticed into the back of his subconscious until further notice. Admittedly, it had seemed to disappear at times... when he'd distanced himself from her, when he'd decided to clear his final chakra and could practically touch the celestial being that loomed before him. The latter was the moment when he truly comprehended the depth of his instability. He had to deal with this so that he could be a positive influence on the world and not cause heartache when the sole purpose of the Avatar was to bring peace to torn nations. He knew he couldn't risk being irreversibly violent and detrimental to those whom he was born to protect... so how was it that a future of rage and destruction could never be warning enough? For her, nothing was ever enough.

And so he left.

_"If you do not deal with your inner turmoil and gain control of the Avatar state, you will become the most destructive force in the world."_

The words could never stay ingrained in his mind for very long, not when he had other things of which to think... like her. His thoughts would morph and change like the swift wind blowing that never paused for too extended a time. Of course he had power -- he knew it and hated it. Notions of its existence, and therefore its repercussions as well were disregarded and ignored... at least until the next time an eerie quiet would descend amidst the cacophony of life, and a familiar sound would catch up to him and refuse to not attain his full acknowledgement. He'd stop and wonder, oblivious to the past he would soon revisit but could never regret.

_Tick, tock, tick, tock._

_It was strange, _he'd decided. _How in these most silent of moments... he could hear this imperceptible ticking..._


	24. More Drabbles

Well, one of these isn't really a drabble... it's a poem that was actually really short and I didn't want to post it on its own. The last drabble is actually kinda long... but too short to post as a oneshot in my opinion. This might be the last update this weekend... but there'll be one next week at the latest. :)

Lovin' the reviews. :)

* * *

**Trump Card**

_She knew he always had the last word..._

"Aang it's oka--"

"You know it's not."

"We'll make it," she whispered forlornly.

"_It_ was supposed to be over," he growled, clenching his fists in an effort to restrain the frustration. She yanked his shirt, forcing him to face her as she fiercely locked her eyes with his steely pupils. Her gritty voice was the final one to ring in the cold silence.

"_Trust me._"

_...except when it came to this._

--

**Expectations**

_Last time they had fought; last time they had won. It was going to be just like last time._

A bright light filled the cavern, drawing her eyes to the crystal shelter on the ground.

_He's going into the Avatar State, _she thought.

The Avatar Spirit awakened to send a pulse of energy around it.

_He's going to rise up and everyone will be amazed._

Aang rose in a blinding pillar of light, attracting the awed gazes of all in the room.

_He's going to save us all. _She smiled.

And she was frozen watching his silent scream as he died in mid-air.

_This time they had fought; this time they had lost. Her brother wasn't the only one whom the universe loved to prove wrong._

--

**Tricks of the Mind**

_"I thought you loved me."_

She giggled lightly and allowed herself a childlike pout, lending a pleading sparkle to her sapphire eyes. His defenses instantly melted into his stomach as he gave in, leaning to her ear to whisper conspiratorially.

_"I thought you loved me."_

Her laugh and wan smile could scarcely cover the confusion on her face just as his sheepish grin thinly veiled the shame and guilt in his heart.

_"I thought you loved me."_

Words slowly mouthed from far away as he stared helplessly at her imprisonment; each cursing whatever held them back with tears running rampant down their cheeks.

_"It's for the best."_

Not a trace of joy to be found nor a lingering kiss as a parting gift. Her scant reassurance had left him with arms cold and empty and hollow thoughts echoing through a lost mind. His being radiated sorrow and an inability to understand as her former words bounded right back off of him.

_"Why? I thought you loved me..."_

--

**Victory**

Riding a high

Standing up tall

Looking down on cloud nine

Facing the sky

You've given your all

For this world divine

Close your eyes

When you fall

Feel the breath of wind on your skin

And you'll fly

With grinning eyes

When your spirit spreads wings within

--

**Edge**

Sokka had long enjoyed holding an edge over others.

As the son of his tribe's leader, he'd always made sure to brag about his wonderful father to the other young boys of the village -- until Gran-Gran effectively silenced his pride by holding his prized, new boomerang over a gaping hole in the ice. After the departure of the tribe's warriors, this edge had turned into protectiveness of his people -- until he and his sister were whisked away by the promise of adventure and the only thing left close to his heart was Katara. So, that was exactly who his attentions turned to.

Having authority over his sister for the simple fact he was the older sibling was nothing new; yet he couldn't help but admit he somewhat relished the situations where men -- or boys, rather, made their move on Katara and he had all the right in the world to question and monitor their intentions for the sole reason that he was her brother. Admittedly, Katara would most likely never heed his "nonsense" and bid her beaus to do the same, but the sense of a small amount of power he held over them and the sweet satisfaction of knowing they could never take that responsibility away from him always lent a wide smirk to his face.

So, when his radiant younger sister was finally proud to announce her new engagement, Sokka happily anticipated any new tactics he'd be able to test on his new victim for the length of their marriage... until he found out who said victim would be... and his plans simply fell apart.

_No, _he decided, as he soberly approached the beaming fiancé. This was simply someone with whom he couldn't employ this method of attack -- for him, it had to change. Not because of status, or power... but strictly because of his nature. Strictly because he was...

"Aang?" The boy turned around and laid expectant eyes on Sokka, trying to hide his unease. Everyone knew how much pleasure Sokka took in intimidating Katara's male interests however benignly they may have presented themselves, and this thought rang quite loudly in his mind as he steeled himself for a lifetime's worth of the boy's suspicion.

"Yes, Sokka?" He winced and braced himself for the blow...

"Congratulations, buddy." With a brotherly pat on the shoulder and a bright grin, Sokka turned around and strode away, leaving a gaping Aang in his wake.

Quickly recovering from the minor shock, Aang smiled after the older boy, gratefully counting one more blessing. Sokka held in a smirk as he walked off, forcing his laughter down at the pure fear that had been on the boy's face. Of course he couldn't help it that even if his sister was whisked away by the Avatar or he consciously made an effort to avoid it... he still held an edge over others.

And Sokka definitely wasn't complaining.


	25. Broken Traveler YxS

Well. Seems like every time I try to update quickly stuff just never works out. I had no internet again for the past who knows how long... so I'm really sorry.

This is a bit of Yuokka love. I saw a sig of Sokka and Yue on ASN on tuesday and it suddenly made me remember how sad Yue's fate was. I'd felt like writing a poem after we analyzed Robert Frost's "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening" (who knew you could get so much connotation out of that little thing??) so I tried to employ an actual fixed structure this time, from that poem: iambic tetrameter - 4 pairs of stressed/unstressed syllables per line, plus with four stanzas four lines each, plus with each third line rhyming with the following stanza. I thought it'd be fun ;). Heh, just in case you wanted to know this useless information of my line of thinking.

Here ya go.

* * *

A life's new bliss, a story's start

Such sweet warmth to a frozen heart

Who thaws its crags in glowing joy

Whose icy lips then spread apart

A masquerader's silent ploy

Amid such scents so meant to cloy

Like moths to this eternal flame

A vibrant youth to loving coy

The spirits, fate, one and the same

To tamper in a solemn game

Palm growing cold as fingers flee

A broken crutch to wound, to lame

How you said you'd abide by me

A whisper blown in reverie

Mourned tale of a bonded heart

Forever sworn to be apart


	26. Give In KxA

Just a simple poem I just managed to finish. It's not long at all but at least it's not totally depressing! It's set in DoBS: The Invasion... during the kiss. :) I hope it's likeable. :)

* * *

Two smiles, one blush

One frown too much

Souls' heartbeats race

In lovers' chase

One's kiss: war's sin

Don't shout; give in

It's bliss, it's fate

One love too late

Two hearts, one rush

Four lips to crush

Boundary's rules

Loneliness fuels

It's bright within

Sweet purge of sin

Though bodies fray

Gold souls shall stay

* * *

So... who's going out to the DVD store on Tuesday? lol


	27. Mother: Hold My Hand

To all mothers out there: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! :D

Well, the ending to this one didn't come out how I expected it to. It was supposed to be sadder but that would have made it AU... which was what I was planning. But after I got a second theme in there... I realized it would be better to have it tie into what I believe will be canon. So it's not totally depressing! :) I can't believe I did it all today, that's rare, but I had to finish it for Mother's Day. It kind of ties into "Chilled December" my as-of-yet not a oneshot but-still-a-drabble idea.

So here ya go. :)

* * *

_Over. The war is over._

The first time I heard those words, they were never said alone...

_"When the war is over..." "If the war is over by then, we can do it..." "I'll pay you back when the war is over..."_

All were said in mirthless satire. Repeated in a sugar coating of hope because that's what they were supposed to feel... but the darkness of resignation to a loss they expected always peeked through. Always.

Growing up in the Southern Water Tribe was a fairly calm process for all of us. Of course we heard late-night tales of a long-passed siege on our tribe by the Fire Nation. It was our duty to "remember" all of the Fire Nation's destruction against the world, against us... but we'd never seen it or experienced it. Earnest blue eyes would sincerely take in the details and morals that elders would give, but it was all a game to us. A test to see who could feel sorriest, who was most knowledgeable, who was strongest when it came to hearing an event that was no more than a bedtime story to us. We were only a block of ice in the middle of nowhere. What would the Fire Nation want with that?

So all of us just went on with our young lives in ignorant bliss. We had more threatening things to worry about in any event... like our pride...

_Mommy won't hold your hand anymore._

The first time I heard those words, they were a promise to me - and to every other boy about my age for that matter.

_"When you're old enough, Mommy won't hold your hand anymore." "If you don't go getting yourself into trouble, Mommy won't have to hold your hand."_

And considering I was one of the youngest in my tribe, meaning that every other boy was wonderfully independent while I was bound to my mother's side, I was determined to make that wish a reality. I never saw the gentle glimmer of sorrow in her eyes as she told me this, as she watched my own eyes take on a shimmer of excitement. Once, I had wanted her - needed her to hold me, protect me from everything that would do me harm. _I'm scared_, I would tell her. _Mommy, 'til it's over..._ And I didn't even need to finish for her to grasp my small fingers with her warm, encircling ones. However, now was different. I thought I was ready to grow up... but I wasn't. I found that out the day the world decided it was time that I did.

_The Fire Nation is coming..._

The fearlessness this cry inspired within me and the utter anxiety it placed in the eyes of my father, brave head of our tribe, was unexpected and unnerving. Why were people so frenzied about this? We were strong - we were _warriors_ - and we could beat them. This was when my words were still optimistic sugar all the way through. Why was everyone moaning about the wrath of this nation that had been wreaked decades before? It was only a tale...

The brightness of our sky dulled; the purity of the white ice around us was marred by odd flakes of blackened snow that fell from the wind. Gran-Gran took one look at the scene through her wrinkled eyes and hustled me to the back of our igloo. Katara came wandering in later.

"Where's Mommy?" she had asked. Her wide pupils had bored calmly into mine. "Daddy said she wasn't at the market."

My father had muttered this under his breath before he'd stormed out the door, seconds following Katara's return. I'd just shrugged, dismissing the question - she was just a little girl, how important could anything she say be? She didn't understand what was going on. I did. I just sat back knowing that my tribe would teach the Fire Nation to not mess with us, and realizing that I could do nothing but wait.

I refused to believe things weren't going according to plan.

We were courageous, we were ready... so why was I peeking outside a window to see tents burned, homes crumbled, our marketplace destroyed...? Why was our mother screaming outside our door? Why was the terrified face of my sister the last thing I saw before all of the world around me turned into... blackness...?

When my eyes opened again, it wasn't long until I realized that a benign tale had become my reality. That I had, in fact, grown up.

Mommy wouldn't be holding my hand anymore.

Yet, again, growing up in our little Southern Water Tribe became a relatively peaceful life. Now, instead of being the youngest children, we were the oldest and felt the need to act it. The boys I had once looked up to and had long wanted to prove myself to had left. I, lone protector of my tribe as another ship from that cursed nation came, thought I was ready to be a man. The events that followed, needless to say, told me that I wasn't... but it took quite a while to figure that out. Until the day I had seen the world and its marvels, its horrors. Until the day I had fought and cried and laughed and loved, shamelessly. Until the day I'd understood that saddened gaze of my mother when I'd thought I knew what it meant to be mature. Until the day destiny decided it was time I became it.

_The Fire Nation is coming._

That steady flow of syllables could do so much to rattle my nerves as my own eyes now mirrored my father's. There was no dullness to the red sky tonight, simply an orange streak lighting up the heavens to signal the climax of our destiny.

_The war is over._

The next time I'd hear those words, they would be said alone. No strings attached to hinder their power or change their meaning. This was our last chance to save ourselves... and everyone else was counting on it. After tonight, it mattered not who said them or if we were victorious, because they would be spoken either way. Suddenly, they weren't just a sugar coating of hope... they were a threat. A threat to the Fire Nation when we'd manage to win against their rule... a threat to us when we'd fail. Then was the very moment the world took it upon itself to crown me a leader. And that was the very second it took me to see how much I never knew after all.

_They're coming. I'm scared. I need to be strong. Please, until this whole war is finally done..._

_Mommy, hold my hand._


	28. Out of Fear KxA

Agh, I'm sorry about how long it's been since I've updated. My Avatar muse misunderstood the meaning of my vacation and just took off. Still, I'm crossing my fingers because I hope to finish a Maiko oneshot this weekend... I still can't wrap myself around the fact that a week from now, Avatar will be over. It's so depressing! D': But the fandom will live on - of that I'm sure.

Well, here's some more Kataang... a different side of it this time I think. I appreciate all of your reviews!

* * *

I was always afraid of the air.

It wasn't a flat out fear of it, no, I suppose that wouldn't the best way to describe it. Yet, it was the only way I could. Air was perpetual, constantly within you and around you, something you could never escape. Air was freedom and the desire I had to lose myself within it... and being scared of what I would do if I forgot all of those years of rules and boundaries. Because I was water, and when water became out of control, it was a very dangerous thing. Somehow, a thing I wouldn't mind at all... but I tried not to think about that too often.

Nevertheless, the longing was always there and would never leave my mind. In the isolated South Pole, waiting for a rush of wind to come by and sweep me into the world of the unknown epitomized the dreams of my youth. Well, seeing the Avatar return and save us all was also a hope I clung to... but those two wishes have always been one and the same. I'd always imagined the Avatar as an airbender, even though my tribe thought otherwise. I never knew what they looked like, the people of that nation, only heard rumors of their nature; but that sense of mystery about their culture... that feeling of freedom about their element, only served to make me fantasize about them more. Them, and the Avatar.

The Avatar would be strong, wielding all the power of the earth to do its bidding. But what if I were to inadvertently irk this spirit? My young mind found it amazing, beautiful, and frightening all at once. Even after I found Aang, that was how I had always seen him. He awed me with his balance among the elements, I marveled over his kindness, and he shocked me with his anger, but I understood that. There was, however, something else that I simply couldn't grasp about him.

It was air that fascinated me. Not so much the Avatar as Aang.

How enthralling and threatening to know this was one element from which you could never run from, hide from, defend against. Not when it was everywhere. He was always around me; speaking to me, walking with me, watching me, touching me, sleeping next to me, running through my thoughts and dreams relentlessly. He could have been half a world away and still manage to invade my heart and soul. Yet, I would never give up those years with him for anything. He had gradually become essential to my life, a part of me that I thrived on. Like water to a weed, he encouraged me to grow, expand my horizons, slowly become even that much less controllable to everyone except for him. It was thrilling and dangerous to have water tossed and soothed at the whim of the wind, an obsession for me to be wild with him. He became my lifeblood, my one and only high and link to reality. It gave my sense of control every reason to be afraid.

It was incredible, how much I needed it - needed him - and yet it was so fleeting. It was a desire I simply couldn't repress, could rarely fulfill: the freedom of racing above the clouds - soaring on his glider in his arms; the calming breeze that licked your face - the feathery caresses of a caring touch; the battering winds that were indiscriminate in their destruction - the fury of Aang only I could calm. It was _daring_ to claim those moments of passionate, unrestricted love along with the unavoidable storms of rage, turning the tables and using his vehemence to fuel me but soothe him. It was having the courage to withstand the biting winds. It was coming to hunger for any moment I could have with him, even if it was one of danger - rerouting the energy of a dark sadness toward myself, transforming it into tears and butterfly kisses. Because he needed the release. Because I did too. No, the air in the South Pole had always been much too thin. I couldn't help the _suffocation_ I felt. I _had_ to place myself in the path of the onslaught - I just could never drink in enough _air_.

And then it wasn't just a fear for myself anymore. It was a wild worry for him. What if he hurt himself or someone else? What if he locked his pain deep inside of him only to wear him, tear him apart from the inside out? He needed me as I did him. And when the waves would quell and the howling cease, you could finally see the sun shining through the summer clouds. For a second, I'd forget the danger, the violent cycle we created together. I'd see the air and adore its beauty and lighthearted spirit. I'd get caught up in its freedom and suddenly, I'd lose myself within him. I'd throw away those rules and boundaries becoming out of control. Together, we created such a rapturous, dangerous thing. And I feared - loved, adored - the air for it.

Perhaps, just as he feared the water.


	29. Chilled December

Ah, well I finally wrote this oneshot. It's a companion to "Mother". Please, if you find any issues tell me because I wrote it all this morning and I haven't had any sleep yet. :P I really wanted to get it up before TSR.

Well, it didn't quite turn out how I expected. I pulled little scraps of stuff I've written into this to finally use 'em, but I'm a little too out of it to really judge my writing right now. I just hope it's readable. :)

You read -- I sleep. ;) Deal?

* * *

The sun had set hours ago on the horizon above, the night watching over the sleeping inhabitants of the marvelous temple below. The moon remained obscured from their vantage point, bathing the scene in a viscous darkness. It was oddly warm; though the stone walls beneath the surface of the earth cooled the near-Fire Nation heat, it was the dead of summer and nature had chosen this day to be harbinger of sweat and humidity.

Katara would have therefore found it strange to find shivers racing through her veins... had it not been for the fact that her mind had chosen this time to be harbinger of chills and memory...

--

_The most perfect day._

_The whiteness outside was blinding in its intensity, the crisp breeze signaling the villagers to a fresh fall of snow. It was the only thing her youthful self could think of at the moment -- as far as she was concerned, the everlasting happiness and comfort of her surroundings the only things that could ever matter._

_War? What war?_

_It was with eyes whose vivacity rivaled the sky that she stepped outside into the fluffy mounds of sprinkled flakes. It was with growing exhilaration that she spotted the light gray clouds that approached, bearing even more of the sparkling crystals that would soon magically fall around her grinning being. Every year was the same: there was always one day that was set apart from the rest, one perfect day when winter would decide to reveal its pure glory, all made complete by her mother's warm hand securely wrapped around hers._

_As if marching through sacred ground, each step taken trudging through the snow was carefully measured, contemplated before marring the even plain with a foot's indentation. As often as she saw it, she could only gaze in awe at the beauty as the glittering field of white sunlight from above danced merrily upon its opposite element. The tundra that she sank to underneath her assured her that the ice wouldn't give way, and the invigorating air filled her soul with a new, exciting sense of freedom that she couldn't live without; her steady companion a welcome constant as she walked._

_The blue eyes would glow with warmth amidst the icy air as they watched her daughter revel in the scenery. Her small fingers would play in fascinated wonder with her own breath which burst out in white puffs, bending the tiny particles into swirls and patterns. It was with triumph that she would then catch her mother's joyous smile as she looked on in love and pride. Truly, all the girl had was her tribe, her family, and the glorious snow, and she needed nothing else. Lips with amused grins would praise her growing skills; practiced hands would teach her more; even when her self-righteousness was bruised, her mother always had a remedy. When her father and brother would set off, leaving her at home, she'd be enraptured in tales of ancient benders or strong-willed women who created their own destiny. The glances of mother to grandmother were always mysterious at these times, only serving to enthrall her spirit more. Whenever outside on one of these wondrous days of sun and snow, only a melodic voice could be heard, carrying the lyrics of generations old songs over the icy wind._

_It was one of those gorgeous winter days when a young girl laughingly followed her mother through the drifts of snow._

_"Sunshine, sunshine where'd you go? How my heart has missed you so; rays of sunshine, rays of gold, glowing in your eyes..." The soft strains were always silently accompanied by soaring snowflakes, their bender dancing in time with the familiar rhyme._

_"Don't be long, my blossomed lily; take pity on my lonely arms; lay your head and slow your breaths; and sleep within my heart." Immediately, the speaker paused, drawn to the sky above. Eyes still alight, her daughter followed her cast, contemplating the visibly darker clouds and watching the clumps of tiny bits of ice fall more densely. Her hopes soared at the prospect of even more of the delightful white substance... until a notably grayed bit of it found its way into her palm._

_Her mother barely even looked at her as she informed her that the very clouds must be breaking apart for the snow to be such a color. The explanation fell on distracted ears and she knew the magic of the moment had silently snapped. It was all her mind could do to try and pick up the pieces... but it seemed apparent, even to her, that something was different... until the older, tanned face finally turned back to her with a serene, adoring smile that wiped the worries away._

_"Go get dinner ready, Katara. I need to go to the market -- I'll meet you at home, all right, honey?"_

_The suddenly tense air, overcast sky, stressed tone should have told her that her memorable day wasn't going as it always had._

_"We'll come back tomorrow." Somehow, the sturdy assurance in the words lifted her mood. Mouth opened in a toothy grin, she made her way back to their warm home, letting her sight immerse in the surreal view of a white paradise; allowing her vocals to pick up where her mother had left off._

_"Breeze of love, do come and stay; cannot resist your sweet sway..." she trailed off, the remainder of the verse escaping her as she spotted her father at the entrance of their home. Small legs breaking into a run, she happily launched herself to his waist._

_He didn't hug back._

_Murmurs, shouts, and hurried motions blurred after that, the pleasure of the winter dream evaporating as it shattered around her. It was confusing the way people ran about within the home, even more disconcerting how much louder the chaos seemed to be outside. The peaceful town had erupted into distress, blue eyes realizing they were probably scared of the gray sky crumbling and falling all around them._

_A tug on her brother's sleeve. "It's only the clouds," she murmured._

_Another violent shatter of reality. "No." His voice excited. "The Fire Nation. 'Cause of the war."_

_A frown creased her face. But it was their day of first snow. It was her calm, loving tribe and family and vibrant heavens above the land of pure whiteness and the amazing magic that came with the winter wonders. It was the perfect day. Perfect days didn't have wars. Perfect days didn't have mothers not by their daughters' sides._

_"Where's Mommy?"_

_The sun was energetically shining its rays onto the icy ground below, blue sky smiling even though the persons beneath it were not. Because the wonderful morning hadn't been what it was supposed to be -- what it had always been. Because now, the meaning of beauty and sadness had torn her world apart and turned it upside-down. Because it had been a gorgeous winter day when she had laughingly followed her mother through that pristine snow._

_Because it had also been a gorgeous winter day when her mother never came back._

_And even though the days went back to their glaringly light whiteness and their refreshing breaths of cold air, it seemed that fact alone had become the only thing that would ever matter anymore._

_--_

It was only during those least likely times that thoughts would trail back and somehow manage to hear a faint tune whispering along the edge of consciousness. That the scene of wherever she was could, for but a second, transform into a field of the South Pole and a pressure would fleetingly warm her hand.

_"Make my days, dear ice flower, calming, smiling, bright..." _The slight inclination of her lips belied the single tear that had gently floated its way down to the ground. Any day with her mother would have been a perfect day.

_"And let the moon guide your dreams through the bliss of night."_


	30. Colorblind MxZ

Well, here's another oneshot. Kinda short but, eh. I have also written one regarding TSR but I'm'a wait till morning to post -- I think it'd be better to review it without me falling asleep at the computer. :) Oh and that eppy was intense, man. Loved it... watched it twice... and I can't wait till EIP!! Kataang!! Yes! I've experienced a massive withdrawal from not having Kataang for seven months... that may be the key to my return to poetry. ;)

This was a random idea I had... and I just ran with it. It's mostly a product of my imagination... so I hope canon doesn't shoot me with this lol.

* * *

Hate.

Scorn, despise, loathe, abhor.

All equal; all the same. I suppose it wasn't in my best interest to find so many synonyms for a concept I never used.

Color.

Light, bright, dark, dull.

All part of the same. Something I much preferred to utilize in my vocabulary. It wasn't surprising.

I loved color.

It may have been the way the vivid sky reflected onto pools of water; it might have stemmed from the glowing sunlight at dawn or the mellow torches at dusk; or perhaps the glossy green of summer trees and invigorating punch of red from fire lilies attracted me so. I don't think I ever knew just what inspired me. I rather figured it was all of them that did. Still, somehow, it felt as if there was one color that attracted me in particular... and I didn't know why. It wasn't a question of liking it or not, those weren't the feelings it incited within me. It was neutral and yet it was different, something unique I noticed about it that had nothing to do with my opinion of it. But I didn't dwell on that for too long.

I always dressed dully, giving people preconceived notions of me that completely contradicted how I truly viewed the world at that time. I simply couldn't stand the sight of my bright pink friend garishly standing out against the emerald hue nature had given its grass... and so I decided to fade into the background, nature taking its course. Just like my nature... like my nurture.

Of course there were times when I realized I stood out... especially when I found out that to him, I wasn't just another girl blending in. The sun was shining brightly overhead as I pressed my lips to his, grins of elation melting in favor of the awareness of our intertwined fingers and delicate skin. It was a joy, a trial, an adventure. And I loved every second of it.

Love.

There was never a need to scour for words that matched its meaning, for none ever could; nor a necessity to replace a term that had been perfect on its own. Until the day that I knew I couldn't bear to use it again.

His words tumbled out over each other, indignation lighting up his amber eyes as he told me what had happened that fateful day; my silence and presence the only things I could think to give as solace. The air was chilled with humidity as we left each other's embrace, him running off and me a horrified face outlined in the orange sunset beyond. I sat helplessly, my father and mother dragging me to the palace to watch the mighty Fire Lord challenge his very own son. I couldn't afford to let my face twist in agony when the orange fire descended to his face, cruel and indiscriminate. I couldn't help the bright red fluid that made its way down my lip, my teeth biting down on it in an effort to keep me from echoing his scream and weeping. I simply couldn't stand the mixed stares of pity and triumph that directed themselves to the pale heap on the ground, the red-swathed figures that did nothing to help, the cheerful blue sky outside that dared to not cry with us, and the fact that no one cared. No one cared that his world and mine, along with everything in it, had been irreversibly turned upside-down.

Hate.

It turned out to be a not-so-unfamiliar feeling after that; after I watched the dark ship be swallowed up in the blue-gray sea, along with him as well.

Color.

The very thing that could remind me of those bright days and vibrant emotions that had been brutally stolen away. Of the na_ï_veté of those golden years that haunted my memory. But somehow, even though they all brought back those times and had the same effect on me, there was still one that stood out more than the rest.

_She lay languidly against his chest, reveling in his warmth, his presence, just as she had so long ago. The sun before them peeked above the horizon, slowly descending and leaving the fiery sky in its wake; turning its back on the day and on the bitter recollections it spurred. She held back a sigh._

_"Orange is such an awful color."_


	31. TSR: Old Times

Here's the promised TSR oneshot (1 of 2)! All fixed up and ready to go. ;)

Two people have to face the choices of their past and decide what it means for their future... beneath the moonlight.

* * *

The waning firelight cast the majority of the campsite in a warm, flickering glow. The tents were dark, sheltering their sleeping inhabitants, and Aang contemplated the fact that they were on the move again from his perch on Appa.

_"It seems just like old times again, doesn't it?"_

He wasn't quite sure why he'd said it, maybe the vast difference from having been stationary in the temple truly hit him and made him remember how it used to be. Regardless, how it used to be wasn't by any means how it was now.

The day that he was broken out of the iceberg and found himself waking in Katara's arms seemed like a lifetime ago; almost as if those months of traveling belonged to someone other than Aang. It was strange to think of a time when they were in not much hurry to get anywhere, simply content to revel in each other's company and explore the new world around them. There was a period when they - Sokka, Katara, and he - were still giddy with the revelations that their travels brought. Sokka, admittedly, hadn't changed much. However, where once Katara shared in his adventure or was the quiet voice of reason when his spirits were low, she had much backed off of him now, allowing a familiar burst of fear to bubble up to the forefront of his mind. They were so many now, expected to take care of themselves because there was so much else at stake. Her calm, if passionate, demeanor had given way to a volatile countenance somewhere along their journey in the Fire Nation... somewhere around the dramatic changes of the day of black sun. He swallowed uncomfortably. Maybe it was his fault as well. When he'd first awoken since the fall of Ba Sing Se, he had vehemently pushed her away... they'd rediscovered their ease with each other since then... until he'd lost the invasion... or perhaps, more specifically, after he'd kissed her and subsequently failed at his task. Where once they were a tight-knit family, it felt like they'd gone back to just being friendly comrades. Once, she would have found him having a nightmare and would have held him through the night. Once, they would have been happy in their company to just sit and talk the day away. But now was different and it meant that their tight relationship had been strained. It meant that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't manage to pick up the pieces and put them back together. The revelation terrified him.

He was losing her.

He'd go over the day's events as he lay under the midnight sky, heart dwelling on everything she'd done to move away from him. Every so often, he'd dream of the memories they'd made long ago: penguin sledding at the South Pole, being trapped within the Cave of Two Lovers, the kiss on his cheek before their group split apart, their heated dance amidst a Fire Nation crowd... and it sometimes felt as if those people were long-gone acquaintances whose only legacy was fading recollections.

And what about him? He'd so adamantly refused to let her go to gain the Avatar State, but had already tried twice because it was the only option left. The Fire Nation would be prepared and they had so few troops now... how could they possibly win? More and more it felt like the Avatar State was the key... and he had less and less reasons to hang on to a girl he already felt so far from, as much as it tore him apart to admit it. Times like these brought Aunt Wu's prediction to mind. As much faith as she might have had in him -- as he might have had in himself -- he really couldn't control his destiny any more than he could Katara's feelings. It was unfair how the decisions he had to make were never truly up to him, but more up to fate.

On top of that, he found himself an outsider to her problems -- he could never comfort her anymore. He tried to ignore the pain of her snapping at him, believing he couldn't possibly understand how she felt. It took an experience for her to comprehend even a bit of what he told her she had to do... and even still she'd rejected what he said in favor of another forgiveness. He couldn't complain... but how long had she been harboring this loath within her? Why had she never spoken of it to him, someone he thought she trusted? Didn't she see that he'd had to go through the same thing? That the very point of forgiving was not for anyone's benefit but hers? If she couldn't let go, what kind of person would she become?

_And if he didn't let her go what kind of person would that make him?_

He sighed and shook the thought out of his mind. That was decidedly different. He turned on his side watching the embers finally fade into the darkness. It was wishful thinking, he realized of his statement from earlier. It was all he could do to not remember how they used to be for the sake of his heart. It took all of his willpower to stop dwelling on what if's and if only's. All he could do was force sleep upon himself as he thought about tomorrow and of what could be... instead of what had been.

Because that could never be again.


	32. TSR: Under the Moonlight

Not an update, but as the lovely JillRG pointed out to me (thank you!), these really should be in separate chapters. It kinda didn't click when I realized that they both turned out vastly different from each other this morning. Darn fatigue. ;)

* * *

_"It's not him."_

Of all the things that stuck in her head that night, it seemed her mother's final day was not the only horror racing through her mind.

_"It's not the right man."_

Oh, how she could still feel that sickening thud as she mercilessly brought down her fingers, forcing the blood in his limbs to throw him to the ground. It was disturbingly natural how she flicked her wrists in time with her pulsing rage, how she narrowed her view to that despicable monster as she puppeted her way to release.

_Just him. I need to do this. He deserves it._

And then she realized she was doing this to the _wrong man._

Her hands had frozen, releasing him, feeling the waves of confusion and guilt and anger still her body. She'd told herself it was just a mistake. And now she pondered, what if she hadn't stopped? What if she'd done more than just toy with him? Her blood ran cold instantly. How could she pass it off as an error if he'd been injured... dead? Tears sprung to her eyes, wanting nothing more than to erase that image from her head. Her emotion had clouded her judgment... and when she finally found him, she hadn't even hurt him. She'd taken out those horrid feelings on a man that had done nothing to her.

_"I think you just want revenge."_

At the time, it had been the best idea she could think of. He had it coming after what he'd done... but justice hadn't been on her mind. It was a mission of passion and blood lust that she'd passed off as her right to carry out. And suddenly, her brain connected the dots between her and another similarly troubled soul.

Hama.

It was more than scary how she saw how similar her own arguments were to hers. That the man deserved to suffer -- that he was nothing more than a cold murderer.

_"They deserve the same. You must carry on my work."_

But she had told herself she wouldn't do it. She couldn't. What had changed?

_"The choice is not yours. The power exists... and it's your duty to use the gifts you've been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture... your mother!"_

Still, at that she had refused. Hama had been a horrible woman, twisted by her hate at what the Fire Nation did... and so became just as convoluted as those she fought. Katara had vowed to never use this terrible bending. But then she had found someone who she believed was worth it.

And it hadn't even been him. Even reminding herself that he was Fire Nation barely helped. In fact, it just made her feel worse, that she was thinking like that sadist waterbender - the Fire Nation - and attributing a person's origin to their guilt. It had nearly become a homicidal binge... that at one point, not too long ago, she would never have dreamed of following.

_"We're the last waterbenders of the Southern Tribe. We have to fight these people whenever we can. Wherever they are, with _any _means necessary!"_

She'd been determined to win against her. Determined because she was so sure that it _wasn't the right way._ Yet, she learned it anyway. She'd told herself she had to... she was saving Aang. But what about now? She just did it for pleasure and pain. Revenge.

_She was no better than her._

A stray drop of liquid made its way from her tightly shut eye and into her sleeping bag as she lay, fetally curled on the ground. Her mind was still trying to grasp the concept of how far she'd let herself go. If she hadn't been so vengeful, that mistake would have never been made. The knife in her gut slowly twisted as a small part of her briefly realized that Aang was right. Facing him had helped her come to terms for the first time in years... but anything more would have made things so much worse. It _would _have poisoned her. It already had.

Knowing she had changed so much just caused her further agony. She had always been resentful of that fateful day... she'd never let it consume her and drive her to this... but neither had she ever let it go. Suddenly, she wondered who she was trying to punish by holding it in her heart unresolved for so long. It certainly wasn't bothering _him._ And then, of course, the fact that her mother had died _protecting her_... it was so much... too much to take in. She swiftly turned her head and buried the dry sob in her blankets, feeling the instant liberation wracking across her body, if not a sense of peace. The tears came in excess, soaking her skin and makeshift pillow as she made a solemn resolution.

She was done with revenge. She couldn't change what had happened but she had to choose what path she wanted to take. There was more at stake than just closure... she could show the Fire Nation what a mistake they'd made. She could make sure that no other innocent little girls had to watch their mother's lifeless body be cradled in their father's arms. But most importantly... she would do it the right way. She sighed shakily, the final tremors subsiding and allowing sleep to creep up on the edges of her consciousness.

She would act with her head instead of her heart and in that way actually make a difference. A difference that, this time, wouldn't be a mistake.


	33. In Such Moments

Finale poem! I've been on a bit of a writing spree, so hopefully that'll last. Thanks for all the reviews!

Here goes...

* * *

Why does the sun seem to rise so fast

And the golden sunsets never last?

Where the days in-between are so full and bright

The abyss wrought with mist entailing night

Why can't your touch ever satisfy?

But I take it nonetheless for it's all I'll find

Even though there's more to give and show

If we want to live, then we have to let go

It was nice to know

That I had your kiss

To hang onto

In such a moment as this

When I have to hear

These cries of pain

Constantly

Rendering me insane

Why does the end rush forth to meet

Life once it has been so sweet?

Dragging us away into the fray

When we wish there'd been another way

But at least I know

I'd have your smile

To cling to

In the stretch of this mile

And I never may

Manage to keep your heart

Yet, still I have

One hopeful start

Journey's final stretch approaching fast

This bliss, this love, never meant to last

You'll be there, full of dare, as we take a stand

And I'll just be content to hold your hand

So it's nice to know

That I had your kiss

To hang onto

In such a moment as this


	34. One Step

Another poem -- oddly enough exactly 100 words. I'm so sad to see Avatar go :'( but I'm soo sooooo excited for the finale!! It's bittersweet. Anyway, I wrote this poem months ago but kinda forgot about it ...heh... so here it is for my last update before the finale. I've got a bunch of other stuff to post though, so expect more later. ;)

Here goes...

* * *

One step; all it takes

To see the world anew,

To grasp your hand and understand

Our lives from another view

One bound; all it takes

To greet this journey with awe

Shivers up my spine, not a glance behind

Not a thought to the life I shod

One look; all it takes

To lose my youthful gait

Living death's pain, shed tears for shame

In scenes cankered with hate

One turn; all it takes

To see my life anew

To break my heart, gaze from afar

My home in this whole new view

One blink; all it takes

To let it go and soar

Utter goodbye, tear in my eye

And take your hand once more


	35. Vivacity of Memory KxA

SO... how was the finale? I personally loved it -- it was epic and blew my mind (that kiss was gorgeous!)-- but I've already spazzed about it in other places, so I won't here. ;)

This oneshot... I started it a week before season 3 aired (ahh, good times) after seeing Katara's reaction to his hair on the commercial: _"I like your hair," -smile-. _Even though this thing is about a lot more than just hair, I did write the paragraphs about it first. Sometimes, I have an odd way of writing and finishing stuff up.

On another note, the finale left me with breeding plot bunnies so I'll have a bunch of oneshots/drabbles surrounding it!

* * *

It was a life of black and white that she had lived all of this time. The Fire Nation was bad. The Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes were good. She was simply expected to live out her life at the pole, insulated from what she hadn't already learned from life and wrong and war. Everything was simple; the brightness of the sun on the icy tundra illuminated their days and her hope that in the end, the fighting - because that was bad - would be over, and freedom - because that was good - would prevail. The lines between them were crisp and clear.

And then came the day when she found that life-changing boy at her doorstep, whose ideals she would soon discover to be just that as well. It was a moment of amazement when their eyes unwillingly bored into each other's, as if dreaming of future memoirs and awesome events that neither could possibly imagine. An unexpected visitor that would somehow change everything her old life had known... so before she realized it was over, a new one had begun.

The first time she'd had the courage to hold his hand was also the first view she had of the rage he held inside of him. Just the realization that the carefree spirit she had found not long ago could harbor violence was difficult to swallow... but he'd recovered and in the weeks that followed, it was easy to forget what he'd been through and what he'd lost... easy to forget what had once been the norm for her.

It was thrilling -- there were countless new experiences she'd had the opportunity to find on this journey with him... watching the world from a different view, finding friends and losing them, running and hiding, kissing his cheek in gratefulness or simply to show him she cared. But no matter what they went through, he always seemed to pick himself back up and move on, like he'd done months before. It should have been a warning the few times she saw his sorrow take him over... that the next time such hopelessness closed around them, everything would be worse.

Still, even after the first time they lost -- the very first time she'd lost _him_, all that crossed both of their faces was happiness... so that was all she allowed herself to cling to.

She recalled the first time she had seen this wounded boy with a mat of black hair on his head, a strange smile toying with her lips then and now. Not one of humor, or even of lost reminiscences, but simply grateful that he was alive to say such a thing to. Joyful. Awed... because of him and maybe because of the mere inkling of something else.

She dwells over the days after that, when life was hectic and the sun resting on the horizon cursed them of the ending day they had let pass without being able to do anything. It was difficult to adjust to a life where almost nothing was cut and dry, where days weren't crystal clear anymore, where joy wasn't the only passion her heart possessed. His own beliefs had been turned upside-down... but every time, just like before, she would lovingly remind him that she was here for him and things would be all right.

When what appeared to be the moment of truth had finally arrived, she watched him as he lay silhouetted against a midnight sky unaware of the caring eyes behind his weary body. Even by then, she hadn't known what that eerie wisp of a foreign feeling encompassed. She stared, the morning after, as she saw him grip the silver blade and glide it across his scalp, cutting off any ties he had made in the time that they'd been in this forbidding nation, in favor of balance and loyalty to his people. Cutting off ties... just like he'd done only weeks before. After all of the change within herself and between each other, he couldn't afford to be bothered by the fact that such links between people and memories couldn't be severed. It didn't quite matter for a while, as he seemed oddly practiced at ignoring things like these.

Or, it seemed so until the first time he kissed her. She herself discovered that skill the second time they'd lost.

And what about after? Again, they'd recuperated, gathering strength of body and mind to put an end to the war that had gone on for far too long. There they were, on the eve of the most important days of their lives, but this time, he recognized the darkness that waited to devour his soul. He knew he couldn't let it... but in a way, it had already left its mark. Fears and pain threatened to subdue the energy at the beginning of their battles... but the tension was palpable, and soon everyone was much too preoccupied with fighting to acknowledge the losses they might end up with. They had fought - by the sides of friends or alone - and they had won. And suddenly, as soon as it had begun, it was over.

Time passed in a blur, the ends and beginnings of years were vague and hazy so that neither knew where the line between death and life really stood. Even though their win had ended up better than they could have hoped, there were some things that could never be erased from memory. Somehow, as irreclaimable innocence fled from war-tainted minds, nothing seemed black and white anymore, only a fog of gray. Black outlines of birds disappeared in monotone trees and each individual in a crowd was merged with another. The vivacity of color only slowly came back as ideas and views of old that had been demolished with the confusion of the past returned. Sunlight's rays were starting to penetrate her saddened heart and spotlight the things that mattered the most...

She could see the smiles of the boy she had set out to protect and those of another who had come along to protect her. The smirk of her friend's green eyes seemed less dull and sarcastic... after harrowing and hardening experiences, it appeared as if life did go back to normal after all.

Yet, there were still instances on dark, rainy days when the happy, shiny-headed monk disappeared from view and all she had to do was lurk under a low tree branch to find his solemn face. It was all she could see. He was soaked - either from tears or raindrops, features densely shadowed in darkness or intense sorrow. In these times, he'd isolate himself for days, letting the pitch black strands fill the crown of his head. She knew exactly what he was thinking... it was of the same thoughts that she resurrected now. And each time, she would do just as he'd done to her, tilting up his chin and showing to him the yellow shine of light he had revoked in favor of guilt.

And again, she'd see him silhouetted in a late night glow as he held a steel blade within his fingers. This time, however, he looked to his side and smiled at the face supporting him. The dark clumps fell to the floor just as he let go of the past that had bound him to sadness hoping to never have to touch them and remember their feel anymore...

Or, perhaps, just until they would take hold of their roots and creepingly grow upon him all over again.


	36. Fragile

I have a couple other oneshots up my sleeve, but I wanted to post this one first. It was inspired partially by one of libowiekitty's oneshots and sparked by the first line of one of Angel-Chan's... two completely different subject matters, admittedly, but it managed to somehow spawn this. Ah, inspiration and its random ways!

So here you go! Enjoy.

* * *

She was singing again.

Soft vocals gently echoed off of the walls, the stone structure silent as it breathed in the sounds of lovely strains before exhaling them in a soft, satiated blow. Though many mouths were present, words never left their lips, as they would be unwelcome and obsolete. Their harsh tones would destroy the delicate tune that reverberated through the halls, brutally shattering its delicate glass structure and leaving a broken soul to pick up its sharp pieces. As it was, they had nothing to speak of, for although their numbers were many, they were all decidedly alone.  
Except for her. But she didn't want to speak anyway.

Even as the air was otherwise void of click or hum, even as nothing disturbed her save for a soothing voice, she would give anything -- anything -- for it to stop. The rolling movement of a tongue and breath produced sound to prick at her senses, pulling at a thread of the fabric of her mind until the entire tapestry unraveled. Slowly. Deliberately. Leaving the shell behind to calmly burn in agony. She could do nothing but watch as the figure whisked her back to childhood days, eyes loving, mouth murmuring forgotten lullabyes, fingers dearly stroking her hair even as they never left a mark. The omnipresence itself gazed upon the one she knew so well, not even a flinch as stragglers strode right through her. It didn't matter.

All that mattered was that she was singing.

But then, gradually but surely, the last note would fade into all-encompassing quiet, the stale air swallowing it and its echoes greedily until no more could be heard. The hand would retract back to its owner, golden eyes locked on golden eyes as a final kiss left the fiber of her being teetering on utter collapse. Soon, the figure would walk away again, sighing a tender goodbye before dissipating just as her voice had seconds earlier. The harsh mouths would, at last, be fully alone. Encroaching darkness would thread its needles and gingerly undo the disrepair, allowing her tears to finally fall, her heaving chest to calm down, and her mind to clutch at whatever sanity it had left. Sleep would be the release, the refuge, the cure for her eternal malady. Her dreams would heal until the bright arms of dawn opened her eyes once more.

Until she recognized the dingy walls of her dungeon and the memories regained their free reign on her consciousness.

Yet, simply that could never compare to what followed. Eventually, her eyes found their wariness. The repairing touches were pushed away in favor of one more familiar that would take the single string and watch as everything fell apart, smile intact. Knees were brought protectively up to her chest, gaze frozen nonetheless on the poisonous woman before her. And the woman would fill her lungs with air before letting out another series of lilting song. And the heap on the floor would emit another screaming wail -- the only voice who couldn't break through the other's fragility. But she had every right to.

Because Azula had long since reached her wit's end.

And her mother was singing again.


	37. Not the Right Time KxA

Ugh. I've only been working on this for forever. This is another finale oneshot... and I have a finale poem to, er, finish... And I'm soooo soo sorry this thing took so long because school started last week (albeit on wednesday -- thanks Fay!) and I've been struggling. ANYway, I'm not extremely satisfied with this update, but if I have an epiphany, I'll revise it. :)

* * *

_"We're just trying to help!" A hardened edge sharpening the words, carried on an undercurrent of desperation from my lips to his ears._

_"Don't walk away from this!" Yelled command that remained ignored, the worry that my touch could no longer heal taking on a fearful anger of its own._

_He didn't respond._

_"What Katara? ... " A defiant snap cried out by a spirit in need of refuge, strength, answers, and that ever-elusive peace._

_Those were the last words I heard him hear... my own demand the final bitter waves to break on his mind._

I never saw him again after that.

I told myself I was simply concerned -- he was troubled and needed guidance -- who knew what he was going to do? I should have been there if just to tell him I regretted how my feelings displayed themselves, that I was upset because I cared, that I had been confronted with the choice of another's life and death... and that I'd discovered that it was no choice at all. That I saw his confusion and internal struggle as the others laughed and mocked... but a firm hand on my shoulder shattered that future and silenced my lips. _It's not the right time._ True, it was his decision. Once he'd found his solution, I could wrap my arms around him like I always had and tell him I was proud, if sorry that it came to this. But the hand had torn that away from me as well.

He was gone the next day.

A part of me was panicking and I knew it... but this time, the telltale widening of the eyes, quickening of the heart, and utter fear never registered on my face. Maybe, somewhere inside of myself I unconsciously knew that he was solving his problem and didn't need us -- didn't need me. Unlike the time my emotions ran rabid within me when he ran away, I knew that we could no longer help like we had before. Still, the rest of me was resolute in looking for him.

And then we turned our backs.

It wasn't a thought out decision to simply give up -- just a convenient back-up that seemed to be our only hope. I wished I could see where he was -- anything to put my --_ our _minds at ease. Not long ago, I'd have never dreamed of this happening... we would have left in the morning, all eight of us returning to the Fire Nation one last time to end this fight. The tension would be tangible and we would have shared a final hug... in case the next time we saw each other, our group count would come up short. And even as much as it sounded like the Day of Black Sun, I'd known it wouldn't be like that... it would be different this time.

But in this case, it was just too different.

The comet lit up the sky in glorious shades tonight; I found myself hypnotized by its majestic glow from Appa's saddle. It was disconcerting to see how quickly time had flown, as if Aang had simply disappeared and the next thing I knew, I'd ended up here. Just several nights before I had expected to be fighting by the Avatar's side, protecting him so that the tragedy of Ba Sing Se wouldn't repeat itself. Instead, I was on my way to fight with the Fire Prince – Zuko of all people – against his sister. My mind and muscles were more than ready to make her pay for what she'd done to us – to Aang – and it was only a matter of time. Yet time was also the very thing that kept my thoughts wandering in circles, jumping from anxiety to resolution, and finally come to the realization that I wouldn't see any of my other friends again until after the war... if at all. My pulse skipped a beat as I thought of the last true conversations I had with Sokka and my friends. I had found remarkable companionship with Zuko. I'd hugged my brother and told him we'd do fine. I'd laughingly told Suki I thought the fact that she'd found a boy was fantastic... even if her choice was a bit odd. I'd said a few friendly words to Toph... but she never needed much.

And finally... I'd left Aang under a starry sky utterly rejecting him and saying it wasn't the right time. The last thing I'd done was yell at him. Now I'm here, playing into the sharp jaws of oblivion, and if we're lucky, will only have a brush with death. At best. I bit my lip at a pang that struck my heart.

_I hadn't even said goodbye._

The eastern sky was filled with crimson, a vivid reminder of life and its fragility. Not so long ago, I'd prided myself on the fact that I had no regrets... it had only taken several days to bear so many. One never knew when fate would decide to tear those dearest to your heart away... I absently grasped at my mother's necklace.

_I should have learned that the first time._

But all I could do, as the foreboding red palace loomed into view, was ask for one more chance to say the words and make things right.

_"It's not the right time." Sigh of resignation to the conversation I'd rather not have... wary eyes overtly searching for escape._

_"Then when is the right time?" Confidence betraying a passionate fear, helplessness, and love._

The fact that destiny had managed to bring me this amazing soul to cherish should have reminded me that just as this war had two faces, so did life, death, and everyone caught in-between. An amber eye caught mine as the bison descended, an imperceptible message of trust passing through our gaze before reality crashed back down and brought undeniable duty with it.

Maybe the words never had to be spoken nor promises ever uttered. The last thing he would have had was my smile and embrace, not a shout of desperation... that wasn't at all how it should have been. I took a breath before steeling my heart against the threat of my foe and the impending plight of my friend. I pleaded silently.

_Just one more chance..._

Opportunity was a gift we couldn't afford to throw away in these wretched times. The fact that there was a war going on appeared a viable excuse to put off such intense feelings... but as much as logic might have to protest, it never did have a say in how things ended. Reason had told me that there had to be a right time for everything... and life had told me that sometimes, there never was. I needed to be able to tell him I had made a mistake -- to express how he meant so much, in case destiny decided to unexpectedly take one of us back, and that no matter what, I never _ever _stopped caring.

It tends to be at the wrong time that we realize for this... everytime is the right time.


	38. Drabblets

As much as I know about computers, as careful as I was, I could not help the fact that _someone_ (who shall go nameless) did something to my computer and thus, coincidentally could not prevent a writer's worst nightmare from occurring.

My writing folder got deleted. Yeah.

So most of the newer stuff (by most I mean 95 percent and by newer I mean as of '08) is kinda gone and that's why it's taken a bit longer than I expected to update... though, ironically, it spurred me to write faster. BUT (and these are big BUTs) my chappy fic was in another folder (thank GOD!) and I did have some things backed up.

These first two drabbles I wrote beforehand and had to redo (that darn second one I lost twice -- and wrote during chemistry note-taking :D) another survived, and actually they popped out pretty quickly. Really, it's only when I remember something I did and then realize it's not there anymore that just kills me... but I have massive short-term memory loss! So that's a plus too I guess.

Oh! And the first two are like dark fyi... I had fun with description. :)

So before I drown in homework, in commemoration of my (tear) files... let's get crackin'.

* * *

**Perspective**

It was his fault.

It was his fault that she lay there, lips a faded pallor, eyes forever shielded from this sight of desolation. His fault that her skin was as cold and unyielding as the stone ruins around them. That in those final moments, in the final lifts of her chest and exhales of breath, his hand hadn't been the one to comfort her; his heart hadn't been with hers. Drops of sorrow came as one... two... a rampage trying to cleanse the dusty mess of a mistake. How could he? How could he...

The red glow of the heavens bathed a figure standing at the threshold of the palace. Limbs frozen; mind numb. He watched the torn wreck sobbing over her figure; the fingers of recrimination picking his own soul apart. She was gone.

And it was all his fault.

--

**Sense**

If I closed my eyes I could pretend the smooth coldness was a fallen pillar. If I covered my ears I could ignore the cries of war and believe he was in a simple, quiet slumber. If I rinsed my mouth, I would no longer taste the coppery blood that had caked my chapped lips - the blood that wasn't only mine - and if I pinched my nose, the scent of dust and scorched flesh would no longer affect me. But nothing -- _nothing _-- could erase the image of his body, a marionette with cut strings who had fallen, whose lifeless eyes still bored into mine and had broken my heart clean apart -- no; the feel of his hand, the shrieks around, the taste of his skin, the stench of death all exploded in my mind.

It no longer mattered that I could live in ignorance of everything else. I had one sense... with that, I had all the rest.

--

**Grasp**

The winds -- _his _winds -- only amplified the anger, the grief at the moment of truth. It was incomprehensible, only there as an elusive pain one could neither catch nor let go of... could only chase with the fuel of rage. Silence shattered with the roar of the air, deadening the cry that never even left his lips.

Everything was _gone._

He felt himself being lifted, lifted by the screams, the yells of a vicious siege one hundred years past. _So close. _So close to reaching it... so close to understanding it... until he realized he never could touch it or flee from it; he was in it.

_Trapped._

Suddenly, a sliver of warmth broke in through the cold. What was this? A solid grip almost as tight -- no -- _tighter_ than the hold of fatality. The heat radiated through him... calming... promising a new life, far down the road, where he'd be released by those terrible claws... where he'd be free.

The gusts slowed, the gale died down; he collapsed into the sadness he'd refused to acknowledge and into the warmth of blue eyes and tan skin. But even cradled in the arms of sorrow, as long as he was firmly within hers as well... he knew he'd survive the storm.

--

**Tether**

She was uplifting, constant; a rope he clung to, but never feeling too bound. She was protective, caring; a close shelter he eagerly claimed without encroaching sense of suffocation. When he threatened to lose his direction while flailing among the clouds, her gravity pointed him toward the upright path. When he fell too low, her buoyancy lifted his spirit while righting the world around him. Everything he needed was there, but she was the sole one who could turn that energy to his favor; the one who kept him floating, the one who kept him focused.

He may have been the spirit of the Earth, but she was the only soul able to keep him attached to it. The only thing that kept him grounded.

--

**Pretension**

Sometimes, it was the little glances.

Here and there, it was accidental, the sweep of a cast being caught against its will. Eyes, unblinking, magnetized to brown smoothness painted on a dark-framed face, trailing up long, slender arms, racing down the firmness of expansive leg all glittering in a river bank's afternoon rays. Other times, it was calculated, a slow compromise with reason that overshadows logic, allowing stares to be led astray for but a taste of insanity. Blue rivets to pale and blue, muscles softened in dim moonlight, taut skin slowly rising and falling back into shadow to stretch over hard curves and delicate angles that yearn to be felt with more than just torturous sight.

Still, mostly it was how silver met sapphire and heated, melted, melded as if they forever belonged on each other and nowhere else. Those gentle, silent songs of a gaze that said more than simply an involuntary look, screamed it louder than unseen admiration. Smaller glances just led to more - increasing - fervent - until finally colliding in a single climax. The surge of a second, the rush of eternity. And then nothing else mattered.

Because it was _always _what they led to that counted.


	39. If KxA

Yes. I am actually alive.

I feel so terrible, I've never taken this long to update, but school plus a sinus infection created a not very pretty sight with all the work I was struggling to finish. But that's not what matters now. I have one (very Kataangsty) oneshot that I want to show you guys... and I might upload a few drabbles as well... maybe not all that soon though. I just want you to know that I still love this show and this fandom and I have a few things up my sleeve even it it takes forever to get it out of there and onto the computer. :)

So here goes...

_

* * *

_

_If I had known..._

But even though the room is empty save for him, even if he knows she cannot hear him anyway, it still seems strange to let those musings morph into words. Because convincing oneself was that first irrevocable step to convincing another and vocalization was that mark of the paintbrush that could not be taken back.

What if he was wrong? He tried again.

_If I had known that loving you..._

Again he falters. He's not sure why he's doing this, sitting alone in the pitch black storage closet - because that's where he can think - and trying to find a reason... an excuse... a justification. It was his fault, after all, that they had fallen into this mess. It was his unknowing heart that never suspected it would ever come to this. Of course he couldn't go back and change it; of course, no matter what he said now, there would be no difference.

_If I had known that loving you would lead to this..._

That decision he'd made at the Western Air Temple all those months ago hadn't seemed so terrible at the time. Hadn't seemed the selfish desire that he realized all too well it was now. The promise of love had felt so wonderful after her quick kiss on the cheek, a moment he feels as if he's reliving in that tiny room. Why should he give up his last link to this world? Why shouldn't they be together? They'd lost so much... was it so terrible that all he'd wanted was a happy ending? Still, he should have known something would have to be sacrificed... someone. If he had, he would have been able to make that loss his own instead of hers.

Maybe the repercussions of his flight from duty one century ago hadn't all been revealed yet. Perhaps he had been meant to suffer more by crushing his feelings... and now he's suffering the most because he denied duty again... by being the one who made her leave. Forever.

_If I had known that loving you would lead to this, I would have..._

...What? What could he have possibly done to prevent it? The truth of the matter is bitter, an acrid taste in his mouth of which he cannot rid himself. Had he known, he would have had to let her go. He would have had to distance himself from the very thing he was closest to in order to keep her. But would he have done so? The words of the Guru chose this moment to ring brightly in his mind, reminding him of the warning he gave... the warning the Avatar disregarded anyway. Even if he'd been told this would happen, he wouldn't have believed it. Wouldn't have wanted to. He sighs in frustration, knowing that either way, something would have torn them apart... and coming to grips with the fact that he'd also had the power to not ruin her life as much as he had.

_If I had known that loving you..._

Would his heart have listened? Had he been too far gone in this need for her to think this through? He wishes he could say, without a doubt, that he would have changed everything for her... that he would have allowed himself the pain in order to spare her. He knows he would have. So why do the words seem strange? A lie?

_If I had known..._

He would have furiously cursed the days they had shared in utter harmony. He would have crushed the ever-growing flame of hope he'd harbored since their meeting. Their entire journey together would have seemed fruitless, the smiles they'd shared now mocking their situation.

No.

It didn't matter what he'd known back then and what he hadn't. The end result was still the same. He had ruined both of their lives the second he'd laid eyes on her... had begun a snowballing of their intertwined hearts down a hill destined for death. The only difference was that now, even she couldn't live her life anymore. All because of him.

He sighed all of his strength into the musty air, resigning himself to the inescapable present while drowning in the haunting past. He tried to steel himself against the emotions. Tried to forget the events that were by hoping for things that had never been. The truth, he finally sees, doesn't feel right at all, and for them, it never would. He has to tell her he's sorry -- so incredibly torn apart by the fact that together, they had fallen and would have no matter what. This was what would have been best -- for her... and that's why he says it. Finally.

_I wish you had never been the one to break me out of the iceberg._

And maybe the sting of that remark, whose venom had no one to infect but him, would cover up the pain of secretly wanting to live their time together all over again anyway.


	40. As It Should Be KxA

Greetings from France! I managed to finish an overdue oneshot and upload it since I have high speed internet for a little while. It's AU, it's short, but it's something. :)

* * *

Something wasn't quite right.

The insufficient swish of a rag on the insides of a mug that usually caught her eye didn't tonight. No, the young woman at the counter whose keen need for cleanliness was usually at the forefront of her mind was distracted today. Two onlookers curiously watched the surprisingly calm exchange of clear liquid from pale fingers to a hand that soon retracted its exotic skin into a dark green sleeve. The bartender raised an eyebrow and smirked a bit before turning away.

The ceramic held to her lips had swallowed the bitter cold from the outside storm despite the burning hole its contents bored through her. She took a sip, a gulp, draining every last drop of the house specialty before the cup hit the counter once. Grateful blue eyes reopened as her lips let out a sigh of approval, warm breath laced with acrid alcohol.

It was a gift, the server behind the bar told herself; she didn't even need to face the cloaked girl to recognize the clink of mug on stone, the relieved exhale that signaled the need for another round. Twice more would the cup be emptied in a heartbeat; twice more would one mysterious observer look on with increasingly concerned expressions, his own mug merely touched to his lips.

His eyes heated on the back of her head, unseen yet felt like a sixth sense. She was used to men giving her a variety of strange regards - reputation was the least of her concerns. But even as she tried to fill her emptiness with gin, she knew it would never be enough, never could replace the touches she'd been lacking for so long. She sighed, agitated, pulling back the hood of her cloak earlier than she typically did and shaking out her loose, dark hair. She knew she'd successfully caught the attention of most male bodies in the room... but only one would be quick enough to claim her that night.

As expected, her usual companion drew up beside her and casually ordered a drink, the bartender communicating with her second smirk and he responding with a soft thanks and the extra coin he dropped into her palm. Immediately, she felt him relax and lean on the elbow he'd set on the counter.

"Tough day?" questioned the voice that sent involuntary shivers down her spine. Her answer was the beginning of another swig until a gloved hand pulled the mug from her lips. She felt guilt nag at her then, giving her the urge to flee... but she resisted. Instead, she turned to the man on her right, the eyes partially hidden by his hood so different from the ones she'd been used to seeing every night in her home. But they were what she needed and they would have to do.

Mixtures of knowing amusement and utter disdain emanated from the crowd eyeing the couple up front. Some knew the woman, others the man - but never both - and were all aware of the routine clandestine meeting that had gone on each week for month now. All knew that they were just another two that would leave in silence under the dark of night, like many others did in that lonely quarter. All knew that each of them, in the light of day, had rings on their fingers.

But only four knew they were the same ones.

And for Katara and Aang, that was enough.

Tonight, instead of seeing the woman wash repressed need with clear liquid, the bartender would watch two lovers eagerly steal out the door, hand in hand, another blue eyed man taking the vacated space at he bar. And even though they had their own reservations about their friends' affection, Toph and Sokka would smile.

Next time, it would be a different bar, a different city, but always the same four curving their lips upward in a secret greeting, the only one they could afford. Despite the odds - because since when did they accept what destiny had to offer? - and no matter what people thought - because they had long ago learned to stop caring - they would work things through if just for a night. Even though things in the world were still not quite right, they would find each other again.

And everything was thus as it should be.


	41. The Cold Within

I figured, while I was at it, I may as well hog my grandparents' phone line to upload this thing I wrote yesterday. It's been a while since I've written a poem... I kinda missed it. Anyway, this is another TSR tag because it struck me again yesterday (and I'm suffering from Avatar withdrawal) and I'm fairly happy with how it came out.

Reviews are fuel.

* * *

Amidst the shaded

Blue of hides

Your face a brand

Still burned inside

My mind, with eyes

Of simm'ring flame

And on its claws

How death so came

Within the tainted

Winter cold

Your heart beneath

Pride's hardened snow

Which would have once

Tempered your arm

And kept us safe

From needless harm

But under the sun's

Wispy rays

Unheard, her life

Drifted away

Like flakes of ice

Upon my skin

That'd never seen

The cold within

And so amidst our

Hopeful smiles

So mem'ry tried

To grip a while

His eyes, to turn

Them into yours

And make my pain

Rise ever more

Within the heat, still

Winter reigns

My soul trapped in

Hate's scalding veins

It would have once

Tempered my hand

But my tears drown

'Neath blame's demand

And under the moon's

Full, white sheen

Unheard, my heart

Falls into sleep

For I tried to

Condemn your sin

But just embraced

Your cold within


	42. Connection KxA

It has been... absolutely forever! This thing was supposed to be up a long time ago but well, the first one I wrote got erased so I wrote another one and then found the first one and had to merge... *sigh* I have no luck with this stuff. It's quite funny really. :)

One good result is that it ended up longer than it was at first! So yeah.

Hope everyone had a good winter break. I'm only 2-3 weeks late. Heheh.

So this takes place after DoBS... probably before TBR, but not necessarily. It's short and makes me feel a little warm inside. :) Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Blue eyes burst open into a black void, darkness only serving to amplify the heavy beating of her heart. Where were they? Why couldn't she see anything? What had-

Sokka's snore tore through her wild thoughts. She blinked. Taking a deep breath, she turned her head, sleeping mounds materializing a mere few paces away under the brightening starlight. Katara's skull dropped back onto her mat, desperately willing the pounding in her ribcage to subside. What had scared her? The curious thought raged in her mind, mingling with a scene swathed in red that hit her as soon as her eyelids shut once again. She groaned, reopening them in an effort to replace the image with the reassuring but unfocused one of a hairless boy turning over not too far away. A weak frown crossed her features as she thought of the nightmare that had plagued her. It was unusual... she must be more worried than she'd allowed herself to admit.

Her eyes closed again, body settling back into rest.

_Invasion..._

The word stirred unwelcome familiarity within her... but not enough to rouse her out of half-sleep. Perhaps it was the voice whose tone rang soft and trusted that drew her back in.

_"Invasion... All aboard for the invasion..."_

A crystal display of lush grass and clear blue horizons washed over her senses for but an instant, then quickly faded away.

_"You don't look so good. You sure you can't just lie down for a little nap?"_

_"I told you..."_

Her memory blindly searched for the moment.

_"I told you, I..."_

"...Can't go back to sleep..." Katara mumbled annoyedly into the humid air. She shivered involuntarily, vaguely wondering when the night had turned so cold and clammy. A blanket lay crumpled at her feet... yet she couldn't bring herself to reach so far. Above all, she pondered at the thoughts in her mind, the notions that came to her in a fevered haze and pushed back her conscious, unable to rise out of the fog. A blue sky silhouetted a black-haired figure in the distance. She paused at the precipice, subsequently falling into slumber again.

This time, the vision came more weakly, the descending light that adorned the sky casting a golden hue onto the weary arrowed boy before her. She recognized this place... recognized this time of not so long ago. A bubble of sentiment, part fear, part compassion, part something unnameable, rose from her chest to the leaden tongue that rested in her mouth. It would go no further.

_"Aang, staying up can't be good for you."_

The girl furrowed her brow again in her sleep. The setting in her mind was becoming hazier... more distant. Yet, words still managed to find her as she shivered on her mat.

_"...staying up all night has given me some time to think. I've realized... big things..."_

To her confusion, her vision was clouded completely for a moment. She'd been there... they'd both been there of course... but somehow, they hadn't. It was becoming all too difficult to distinguish between what had actually occurred and her imagination... or whatever was bringing her these images.

_"I see... so clearly now... Why I'm... doing this... to save the world... for the people I love..."_

Her sight which had been blurrily switching from a dark night to a bright sunset was now focused intently on the shining face before her.

"What are you... doing...?" her lips mouthed barely audibly. The moon above reflected the perspiration from her soaked skin. But then, the only thing her subconscious could wrap around were the next words spoken in utter confidence and truth.

_"I love you."_

And the cold faded into the pleasant warm glow of sunset, mind soothed until the dawn would break, as her senses were keenly immersed in the sensation of a fresh, fervent kiss.


	43. Armor KxA

Ahh, this idea popped into my head last night and I couldn't help but jump out of bed and write a bit of it down. So I packed it up today and it should be good to go, even though I usually revise more before posting. It's about time I updated! It's even a surprise that it's this long – oh, and it's my first AU/real world piece... I think. It isn't that obvious, but it worked better like this. On top of that, there's much too much Zutara on this site. Time for some Kataang!

* * *

She'd found him sitting on her doorstep one day, pulling out a warm grin that melted the icy air. She hadn't quite known what to make of this curious boy, not even her height, wondering if she wanted to test out his new black and white sled on the hills behind her home. There was no reason, really, why her cold-chapped lips would mouth out agreement, but agreement they pronounced and off she went on the ride of a lifetime.

She hadn't truly understood when her grandmother slipped in a sleeping bag and a wallet into the trunk of Sokka's car, right before they drove off in search of this mysteriously missing boy. Why they were going in the first place had baffled her as well; how could they, villagers of fourteen and fifteen, hope to save the very person meant to save the world? It was mind-boggling, ridiculous, even insane... but she realized that if this was insanity, she preferred it over anything else.

Her brother had always laughed at her for her dreams - visions of battles and adventures where they'd be the heroes - even though she knew too well he always dreamt the same. The difference was his inability to accept anything but tangible, logical fact to boost his spirits. That was his armor. As much as she tried, though, she couldn't help but justify her rock hard hope with wisps of fantasies: princes, princesses, knights in shining armor defending her precious soul with their lives, just as she protected them with hers.

The first time she and her new friend had lain on the roof of the car and stared at the stars together had been the first time a boy hadn't laughed at these crazy notions. With warm breath that dissipated into chilly night, he'd confessed that he had his own but had nearly given up hope on them until someone - _"...er, I mean something..." _- had made his dream come true. At that, she'd flipped over onto her stomach and placed her face over his in bubbling curiosity. _"What? Who?" _And he'd stared at her with such conflicted intensity that it almost made her sad. _"Maybe it wasn't true." _With that, he'd slid off of the car and left her with the sensation that pieces from both of them had suddenly slipped from their grasps and into the night's oblivion.

The first time he kissed her, she'd felt as if nothing made sense anymore. He'd been about to fly off toward his destiny but had wanted to _"leave my dream with you," _breaking through her walls and into her heart like he hadn't in so long. Like no one else had he'd pulled away and disappeared in the distance, she was too stricken to tell if the ebb of adrenaline was sign of relief or disappointment.

She'd found him on a balcony one night, before the pinnacle of their journey, feigning meditation so that he wouldn't have to speak to her and relive the argument he had stormed away from hours earlier. When she'd placed her hand on his shoulder, he had said, evenly and lowly, that it was perhaps best if they let each other go. And she had harshly yanked on his shoulder so that he would face her, telling him that there was no way she was going to let that happen. And he had sighed tiredly, his skin-tight steel barriers crumbling, admitting that he never could have anyway. They needed each other, she had stressed, even though she still had no idea why her bond to this boy had been so unbreakable from day one.

Everything after that was a whirlwind. The battles were fought and finished, the world a new place she could never even have imagined, as much as she had wanted to. She gazed at him, the starlight illuminating his cheeks on the riverbank as he lay peacefully asleep, caught in the satiny web of pleasant dreams. She sat by his side, unable to restrain her fingers from brushing the white peach skin - and he awoke. Her hand jerked back but he smiled at her, and she wondered how his eyes could be so calm, adoring, fascinated every time they fell onto her.

"Why, Aang?" He could be anywhere in the world right now. He shouldn't even be here, but he was.

His eyebrows jumped as if the answer were obvious, but all he did was point the question back at her. Why? Why did she leave her home and everything she ever knew for one lonely kid? She could have gone back, so easily.

Her face reddened, he deduced, judging by the way she'd averted her gaze and bit her lip anxiously. Time to lower the defenses. "Remember those dreams, Aang?" Exactly like last time, he didn't laugh but smiled softly... satisfiedly. As if she'd just given him something he had been waiting for all of his life. The words that had popped into her mind seemed so stupid, so childish, she could hardly bring herself to say them, but they had made their abode within her for so long, they couldn't help but leave.

"I guess I never really thought about it much... but I finally realized why I'd done so much for you for no reason. Because there was a reason. And it was so crazy, that it was the only thing that could possibly make sense. I lived for my dreams, and you... you were my knight in shining armor." She laughed nervously, blushed further, and quickly tried to turn the question around to spare herself some burning embarrassment. "So, why?"

Aang only grinned more.

"You were mine."

* * *

Ohh gawsh I lovelovelove this pairing. :3


	44. Fall

Wow that last one was even more ridiculously fluffy than I remembered it. Ah well, this one is a change of pace.

_

* * *

_

_"Aang!"_

_Instantly, I started, my panicked eyes doing their best to take in the purple-pink sky and figure out why the walls around looked more like the courtyard than my bedroom. It took a while to remember that I was, in fact, outside and why we'd all been brought out here._

_Come to think of it, we still didn't know._

_Everyone's cheeks were still littered with the sand of sleep, some falling right back into it as I was wont to do then. We'd all jumped into our clothes, some more accurately than others, and now stood rather impatiently to find out what exactly was going on. The fatigue made an attempt to vanish as soon as an older man came into view. All the open eyes were focused on him, he striding out to the middle of the courtyard and turning to face us with a solemn countenance._

_"Today," he announced, "you are going to the Fire Nation." Mouths dropped open._

_"Yes!" My neighbor on the right was first to break the silence, setting off one exclamation right after the other with a domino effect around the circle. Daylight had broken above one turret to illuminate the yellow-orange hue of the robes now animated with the energy of joy. Instantly, I thought of Kuzon and almost split my face with an eager smile._

To think now that he was the friend I had begun to associate the day with is a funny notion.

"Hey, buddy."

I approach and sit calmly by his side, absently stroking his fur as Katara does her best to climb atop a bench to reach a bit higher. I smile as she performs her "old and brittle waterbending" as she laughingly refers to it, she ironically appearing as strong as ever.

One more moan from the bison elicits a sympathetic smile from my face as I turn to Appa, whose eyes fall upon me languidly.

"Do you remember the day we met, buddy?" A deep rumbling affirms it. "Me too."

_The buzz of curiosity was already palpable when the monks boarded us onto several sky bison and we took off for what we assumed was the Fire Nation. However, it didn't take long for some of us to notice that we weren't heading west at all, but east. Fantasies about Ba Sing Se arose, but no one could really settle on where we were actually going and why._

_And then we saw the Eastern Air Temple._

_The towering structure, rising proudly from a layer of clouds, was easily recognizable although we had only been there once before. Specks of cream dotted the sky like animated sprinkles that gave us a delicious sense of anticipation in our hearts, although our minds were still unsure as to what this impromptu visit would bring._

Appa lets out a sound akin to a sigh, breaking my train of thought momentarily. When I look over at him, I am suddenly afraid to find what might be hints of more suffering... but Katara eases him back into a quiet relaxation, and me into this silent contemplation.

_Our lives as nomads were expansive in their simplicity. We traveled, played, trained, learned something new in some new place almost all the time, but there were few regulatory milestones in our progression. We had all passed at least the first few levels of airbending, all that was left was becoming a master, before that, receiving our gliders, and before that... like a second dawn rising, realization hit us in the face. _

_Sky bison._

The ray of light peeking in through the wooden door seems to freeze for a second, like the mellow expression that had been on Katara's face. I sense the change instantly and look concernedly at Appa, whose eyes are now beginning to roll back in pain.

"Katara?"

But she shakes her head, almost confusedly, not looking at me but continuing her ministrations.

_The temple glowed with a new kind of light we had never known before as we touched down onto its stone grounds. At the time, we'd thought it was something in the walls, the paint, the windows. Only later did we see it was the spark of friendships that would last a lifetime, however long a lifetime would or wouldn't be._

Briefly, I see Sokka walk by outside with Momo perched on his shoulder. But despite Momo's eagerness to fly into the barn, Sokka holds onto him and the lemur is too weak now to squirm away. I find the strength to lift my lips in what I hope is a smile of gratitude before turning back to my friend.

_Each fleshy, warm hand dove into the bowl of apples to find the best one for who would become the newcomers to our temple life in the south. We walked, sped, to the place where they touched down one by one, anticipation rising..._

I can't take it anymore.

Every one of his whimpers reminds me how much I cannot do for the one who has given me so much. As he lies there, groaning, twitching, as I can only watch and touch uselessly, I realize despite my best efforts, with that strange sense I had ever since that first day, that things are going to change from here on out. That perhaps... perhaps... he isn't going to make it.

_As soon as he landed, I knew without a doubt who he would become to me. It was love at first sight._

I hope for a release, for him to have a chance to live life for just one day more. I realize that even that would be one day too little by the time it came around. I pray for it anyway.

_They told us animals were far wiser than we were. In a split second, I thought I detected eternity in his eyes, and only the day my identity was revealed to me did I understand why._

"Appa..." I can't help the crack in my voice. My throat chokes up and my chest heaves unexpectedly, heart being torn to pieces as I listen helplessly to his cries. "You'll be okay." I bite my lip. Even I don't believe that anymore.

Absently, I sense what must be Sokka and Momo approaching, the latter settling on the paw of his pained friend while the former and whoever else he brought along sit solemnly by Appa's side. Beside me, Katara continues to stroke him, murmur in his ear... but the bending she does can't be called healing anymore. Although her face is turned away from mine, it doesn't take much imagination to see her begin to cry.

"Stay with me." My voice pleads constantly, almost inaudibly, surely desperately. But fate had decided that day not to heed prayers such as these. I feel the liquid finally pierce through my eyelids, as if I weren't the one truly experiencing this, as if my conscious were detached from my body. My mind runs, consoling the poor body that had housed it with the knowledge that it was no one's fault; no one's responsibility to prevent. But the rest of me simply aches, my heart and soul, much too caught up in the moments, passing by more quickly than they ever had, to listen. Now was the time to drown in the sadness, hang on to the fading sparks of life that had once made the body beside me more than merely that. The sparks of life that had made it a friend. My hands decide to try and coax the skin back into movement. My lips, cracked and salty, murmur to the ears that lay languidly on either side of his head.

"I love you."

And the eyelids shut with one last soft groan that sounds like the one he always makes before falling into satisfied sleep. The only difference was that this time, he wouldn't be waking up here. Another pull at my chest comes with my one last attempt at a voice.

_"Hey, buddy."_

"Goodbye Appa." The farewell uttered an instant - far too long - after he ever would have heard it.

...

Somewhere along the line I would realize that it was better that way; that he didn't need to hear such an adieu from a friend he would one day see again. At the time, I hadn't truly thought of that. But in these last days, it is the memories of the first ones that allow me to pull my head out of grief and look up, dry my eyes, smile.

...

_The shine of crimson apple hardly had the time to glisten in his hand before he tossed it and a fur-covered mouth swallowed it whole. Aang grinned as he was pushed back onto the ground by a soft, six-legged beast and the soggy tongue that came with it._

_"I guess this means we'll always be together!"_

_Aang spread his lips even wider._

Always.

_

* * *

Pour Clémentine  
_


	45. Missing

He missed the tail end of Katara's laugh when he closed the door and turned back the way he came. It was less frequent these days, yet sometimes he still wondered; wondered about the teasing but close relationship of Sokka and Katara; about how at one point, his own relationship with his sister had been a bit similar if on the less amicable end of the spectrum. He was the only other member of their group who had grown up with a sibling and sometimes, it made him feel as if he'd lost something. Regret what he could have had.

The Fire Nation always made thoughts of Azula spring up, but the more time passed, the less he remembered the recent and the more he recalled the distant. The dark pond he passed reminded him of the chunks of bread she would throw at the turtle-ducks, he joining into her pastime because it was the only way he felt like he could share something with her. The torch burning next to his room reminded him of the night she'd accidentally made it light a tapestry on fire, and when their father had stormed away with a palm mark left on her cheek as a lesson, Zuko had instinctively hugged his little sister and seen her cry for the second-to-last time in his entire life.

Hindsight had perfect vision, they said, but Zuko couldn't bear to believe it. Looking back, it felt as if he should have been able to do, say, _be_ something different so that he could have helped her. Saved her. Zuko sighed wearily into the humid night, paused in front of the door to the common room. Deep down he knew there was no use second-guessing what could not be changed in the first place, but it didn't make the hole in his heart any less painful. He pushed open the door.

No one reacted to his entrance into the well-lit area, and he stopped a moment to assimilate the scene before him. His son was giggling merrily atop Aang's shoulders as he spun around laughing in the middle of the room. Suki and Mai were sitting at a Pai Sho table in one corner, both looking up and actually grinning at the raucous two. Mai caught Zuko's eye for a split second, her pupils shining in a rare moment, but that was short-lived-

"Daddy!"

Aang stopped spinning directly in front of Zuko and let down the dizzy boy who walked determinedly - if woozily - to his father. Zuko automatically picked him up and looked at Aang with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You look lost, Zuko," Aang laughed. "You missing something?"

Zuko glanced at his son's adoring face then turned back to his friend with a warm, spreading smile.

"Not at all."


	46. Drive

Her first time - if she were to privilege a soul with actual honesty - was... rather disappointing.

In theory, it had sounded so alluring and powerful. Not only a cathartic expression of body and mind, but an accomplishment... a coming of age, of sorts. She had expected it to be life-changing, or at the very least entertaining.

At first, it was neither. In fact, she had once felt that perhaps it had been wrong... but she had disregarded that notion not long thereafter. For one, lesser people seemed to have the right - why shouldn't she? But even with that mindset, she felt off and - dare she say it? - troubled.

And then, one day, a long-buried feeling began tingling from the inside. It was nothing more than a spark at first, a sensation that tickled and teased at whim. Of course, when things like this came to her, there was no such thing as weakness or chance, no fluke of her being that was not specifically geared toward an end. So, like she would any unknown intruder into her realm, she waited. She watched.

Every time she felt it gently caress the back of her mind, she searched for a chance to wrap her hand around it and bend it to her beckoning. Somewhere along the way, the sensation grew into her just as she grew into it, molding it like warm dough in her hands and feeding on it; fanning it as an ember and billowing on its luscious flames.

And one day, there he was, being sized with new eyes.

The intensity grew. Pulses quickened. His skin radiated with heat as the distance lessened. At delicious last, she felt this dark intimacy fill her - complete her. Then the tongues of fire stopped licking; the atmosphere began to clear; and she was left with an indescribable feeling of satiation as she gazed at his now closed eyes and smiled at the beauty that their fireworks had lit.

For all the pleasure, however, she couldn't bear the thought of the novelty wearing off, so she was careful in her choosing. Relished the anticipation of what could be but appreciated that perhaps it was best that this instinct, now a full-blown drive, could swell up to its absolute brim before she sought release. It apparently gave her a veneer of decency. Not that decency particularly concerned her.

No, all that mattered was these moments she had come to savor. Live for. There was, in her not-so-humble opinion, nothing like this most sacred act, this highest degree of communion in which she had the distinct pleasure of partaking. There never was anything quite akin to this rage-like emotion when she held a life in her warm, soft hand.

And destroyed it.


End file.
